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Okay, so… Ready? Smile in 3, 2, 1, I'm hitting record.
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Hello, everybody, and welcome to our… Achieving unity, success formula.
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We're glad to see you every week. This… I am Mark Intrican.
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The author, and… Uh, your podcast host today?
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My gift to you is on the screen. It is your gift to your free Achieving Unity Guide now.
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There is no value to anger. Hate or prejudice. Instead, we can turn to encouraging, inspiring, and including others.
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So if you go to the QR code on the bottom left.
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You get a copy of our Unity Guide. And we would love you to get in touch with us on our blog.
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But you can either do the QR code or on the bottom right.
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Hope you'll connect with us.
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Again, this is Achieving Unity Success formula weekly podcast, and this is number 39. We've been going since September of last year.
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And we'd love for you to be here every week. 1pm Pacific time? 4pm Eastern Time?
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I'd love to have you come, bring your questions, bring your friends, bring your family.
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People you work with. We'd love to have you join us here.
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And we are Reality Focused Dynamics is the company. Excuse me.
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We're focused on success. Focused solutions. We want to make sure that what we do is all about being focused.
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And you can see at the bottom of the screen, my telephone number is even 303-362-8733, Which is the same as 303 Focus.
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So get in touch with us. On the left, you'll see the QR code for our home. It's our home website.
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On the right, see our QR code to contact me. Contact me anytime. Let's talk, let's keep that communication, that collaboration, going.
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Going strong, going forward.
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We won't prove… we show you how to get to proven.
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Compassionate strategies that turn conflict Into lasting harmony.
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At home, at work. And in every relationship that matters.
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Have you ever been frustrated by tension? Maybe even arguments with someone?
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Our 7-step roadmap gives you the tools to move. From conflict to collaboration.
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Quickly and confidentially. We will help you as you crave for stronger trust.
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Stronger connection. We'll help you discover communication tactics that build respect.
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Repair relationships. And unified teams and families alike.
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We help you transform that conflict into connection. Together, achieving unity.
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Unity inspires homes. It shapes society, and it transforms workplaces.
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We help you turn that frustration into understanding. Have you ever heard anybody say, what the Frustration?
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We find value in your actions instead of reacting in anger.
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Or, that frustration, which it happens so often. We hope you get beyond that frustration, get into a happier life.
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Making things better. We show that anger holds no value. Anger, A-N-G-E-R is the same as actions.
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Not gaining effective results. Again, there's no value in anger. We need to get beyond it.
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Life does happen, and it happens in every relationship. From personal to professional.
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From parenting time to partnerships. It happens in the bedroom, it happens in the boardroom.
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And every room in between. We show you how to embrace challenges and encourage A more inspired and inclusive future.
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If you're reading my newsletter, you'll see more about the articles where I talk about EII.
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Encourage, inspire, and include others. One vision, one goal.
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Achieving unity in every area of life.
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Our call to action is ditching the drama. Let's get stuff done.
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We can help you… help show you. How to turn your life from what may seem like a dumpster fire into a whale… a well-oiled machine.
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Achieving unity is the path to stronger relationships. Inspired leadership and lasting change.
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You need help in coaching, consulting. Courses and keynote speeches Call us today. Reach us at RealityFocusDynamics.com.
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Or you can go to the QR code down there in the right, bottom right.
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Love to talk with you. Let's get together. Let's connect.
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And then our course. Next one starts in August, August 7th.
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It'll be for 7 Thursdays, starting at 1pm Pacific Time, 4 p.m. Eastern Time.
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Which helps us live life fully. Through present, moment awareness.
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Chaving unity does not just solve problems. It builds bridges. Bridges of possibility.
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It encourages every person's growth. By replacing criticism.
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With compassion. It inspires change through hope. Not pressure. Every step.
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Forward matters. Include every voice, so no one feels unseen unheard, or unworthy.
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When we replace that disconnection. With empathy. And that frustration with understanding We create a larger space, a much larger space.
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Or trust. Collaboration, and shared success. We'll know more about the course?
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Qr code in the bottom right will give you more information and allow you to sign up.
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This is how we thrive. Together achieving unity.
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Our next podcast coming up. Again, this is weekly. We want to see you every week.
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Some of you are seeing this on the recording, it is on YouTube.
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Watch the recording? Come on, join us during the day. Would love to see you, love you to be part of this.
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Next week, we have Keith Schumacher. Talk about father-friendly schools.
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It'll be here on June 18th. On the next week, we have Alan Stevens, International Profiling and Communication Specialist.
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Help us communicating better as parents. As people in what we do.
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Again, that's June 25th. On July 2nd.
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Just 2 days before Independence Day in the United States. We have Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman coming to talk with us.
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About the price of freedom. Honoring that cost that we have paid for independence.
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Okay, that's on July 2nd. Please come join. I have not got commitment yet from my person from Loyola, for Focus on U.S. Independence.
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As soon as that's on there, I'll get that logged, and I'll put it on the site. But that's coming up on July 9th.
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Which is the Wednesday right after Independence Day. Those 716, July 16th?
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Vicki Mizell will become… will come talk to us about championing memory enhancement.
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Don't we all want to be able to remember just a little bit more?
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I know many times our mind is so busy. We forget, mine skips.
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Here, Vicki will come help us remember better. And champion that memory enhancement.
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Today, I am so honored. It's… It's been a pleasure talking with him.
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Met him about a month ago. This is a person, a man, that is empowering dads and families to overcome financial.
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And legal challenges with confidence. He's navigating the complexities of fatherhood.
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Of parenting and divorce. It's a journey that… going to talk to us about a journey that many men face.
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But few resources offer. The practical guidance and compassion that's needed.
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To truly thrive during these challenging times. His personal story… Including his advocacy after losing his wife, Melanie.
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To pancreatic cancer. Adds a layer of inspiration, showing how unity and support can transform lives.
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Through his crushing Debt podcast. And personalized legal counsel.
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Sean offers tools to ease the burden of debt. And foster family resilience.
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The values that also resonate with our mission. Of building unity.
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He is dedicated to guiding dads and families. Through life's toughest financial.
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And legal challenges, helping them find clarity. Security and hope.
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When they need it most. Please help me welcome Sean Yesner.
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Good! How are you? Thank you for having me on the show.
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Hey, Sean, how are you today? Thank you for taking the time. This is awesome. I'm so glad you're here.
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There's so much to do, there's so much to talk about.
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Yeah.
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It's an honor to have you. It's just… One of these things where the legal industry is so difficult and so challenging that be able to have someone like you is so… Awesome, what we do. It's… It's almost… almost unbelievable to have someone like you come and help us.
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Yeah.
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So, beyond your legal expertise, though, as I mentioned earlier, we deeply appreciate your absolutely tireless work in supporting pancreatic cancer patients.
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Particularly through that, I believe it's called PanCan, Purple Stride. In honor of your late wife?
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Yep, the… the… the pancreatic Cancer Action Network is, yeah, it's called PanCan, uh, for short. They have their… their Purple Stride walk Uh, every year, uh, at the end of April, as I recall, and so… Yeah, this past year, so 2025, we raised, I want to say, around $7,000 or $8,000, and then…
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Last year was the first year we did the walk after my wife passed, and we raised, I want to say.
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It was around $12,000 or $13,000, so I'm… I'm very proud. I wish I didn't have to do it, but… you know, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do… give it my best, and so we've raised about $20,000 for… for pancreatic cancer research in the last couple years.
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Wow. That is excellent. Thank you for what you do… what you've done, but I still sympathize that… That's a tough one, that's a challenge, to lose someone that you love so much, and… And I believe you have two boys?
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Yes, I have two boys. My oldest is 13, and my youngest will be… Um, 11, um, next week's show, the 18th, June 18th.
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So yeah, two boys.
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All right, good. That's… that's exciting, interesting, and you've got them involved, I'm guessing, in many… events and activities?
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Yeah, yeah, we're in summer now, so, um, what I've done is my younger son goes to the community recreation Center, they have a summer camp program, so he goes there every every day. Uh, my older son It also goes to that recreation center. He got a job… not a job, he got, um…
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It's called the Future Leaders Program, so he's basically a CIT, a counselor in training.
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Wow.
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And so he goes to the rec center, um, in the afternoons and helps the counselors with the younger kids. Now, what I did with both of them is they go to the rec center for the entire summer, but then I have. I pull them out a week here, or a week there. So, for example, my older son, as we speak right now.
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Is at a cooking um, class, uh, by a company called Sur La Tab.
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Oh, excellent.
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That they have a cooking class, and so actually, as soon as we're done recording, I gotta go pick him up and his friends up.
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Okay, now, before you go to the next door, let me talk. Is he gonna be bringing you something good to eat?
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Um, my younger son is…
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I think they eat it there, you know? I wish he brought it home, but I think they eat what they make there.
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But he's… so this… he's done this camp 3 years in a row, and… and the first year.
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Wow.
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They did, you know, guacamole and hummus, and, you know, all this, so he loves making that kind of stuff. He still makes that kind of stuff for me.
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Uh, last year was pastries. Uh, this year, it's other kinds of things, so he loves He enjoys cooking, so… Uh, he… he's been doing that, and And yeah, my younger son is gonna take a week and go to a rock music
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That's great.
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Camp. Uh, he's also going to take a week and go to a robotics coding camp, and then… you know, we're here in Tampa Bay, so in July, we're going to shoot across the My mom is taking us all to, uh, to Disney, so we're gonna take a week vacation and go to Disney in July.
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Are you gonna ride the roller coaster with your sons? I'll do it, I'll get it.
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I love roller coasters, but… My younger son… Uh, just graduated 5th grade. He's going into middle school into 6th grade, and… his end-of-year trip was, uh… a trip to Universal with his class, and so I volunteered to, um, to chaperone.
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Wow.
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And so, he and I got to hang out a couple of weeks ago all day at Universal Studios, and… We didn't go to the… we didn't go to the new part of the park. We went to, um… Islands of Adventure, but…
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We rode there, all the roller coasters there, the Incredible Hulk roller coaster, the Harry Potter roller coaster, all the… we rode all… we love… And then being here in Tampa Bay, we're right by Busch Gardens, uh, we love going on roller coasters.
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That's excellent. I've been a roll coaster for a long time, but… I've been with several people that just would not get on a roller coaster. I… too much? I don't know. But I'm like you, I love them. They have one in Denver that's about 99 years old, but…
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Yeah.
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Maybe not quite that old, but it seems like it, but I will still write it. I love the roller coaster.
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Yeah. Well, so, funny story at Universal, they have the Velocicoaster based on Jurassic Park. And that one is… I've been on it before. I didn't go on it this last time, because even that one's a little bit too intense for me, but um…
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But yeah, I love roller coasters.
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There's some… And nowadays, I… I would like to go to some of the new parks.
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I've been to California, have been to Florida. But I would love to go see some of the new parks and see those extreme roller coasters they have now.
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Really need to…
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Yeah, you need to… Disney… I… you know, Disney… I tell… I tell this… I tell a joke about Disney that… that… did you hear that, um… somebody stole some product from Disney, they got away with about 10 grand worth of inventory from Disney.
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They took, uh, two hot dogs and a bucket of popcorn and a Diet Coke.
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It costs that much, huh?
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Oh, nice.
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So, well, luckily, my mom has the Disney Vacation Club, so she pays for the hotel, and And mom is offering to pay for tickets, so, you know, what the heck, why not?
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But it's a one price? All-you-can-eat sort of thing, but not necessarily food, but you can just ride as many rides as you want to, and…
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So, yes and no. Um, we, you know, as Florida residents, we get a Florida resident discount at Disney World, but, um, they also have now what they call Fast Passes.
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And they've… they've switched it up a few times. This'll be… our first time going to Disney under this new FastPass structure, but basically you pay extra, above and beyond the ticket, and that… gets you in the shorter lines for the different rides, so you don't have to wait, you know, 2 hours in line for a ride.
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Oh, wow, okay. That's one thing I have a hard time with. I don't… I don't sit well. I may be doing something, so that's a good… Good idea, good decision.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, so we're gonna… we're looking forward to it. We've been to… the last couple of years, um, so we… we started a tradition with my wife the last year that she was alive. We went to, uh.
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Arizona for spring break, and so… Last year, we went up to.
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Atlanta, up to Georgia. And then into Chattanooga, Tennessee for spring break.
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And then this year, we went down to Naples, we went over to the Keys, we went up to Boca Raton.
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Wow.
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So we've done a spring break vacation every year, and then you know, like I said, my mom likes taking us to… to Disney, so I would say my kids and I have been to Disney I don't know, probably close to a dozen times.
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Wow. Yeah.
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Not the younger boy, but at least with the older son, probably about a dozen times.
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That's awesome. That's so fun, and… I know some people will argue with us, but I think it's… it is entertaining, but I think it can also be educational.
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To get out there, and especially with the parents.
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Yeah. Yeah, EPCOT has a lot of good educational opportunities for the kids, and you know, I like going to Disney. I grew up in Miami. I'm a Florida native, born and raised.
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And so, we went to Orlando every year when I was growing up, and so it's… it's… interesting to go now as a dad and see Disney again through their eyes is almost as fun. And, you know, it really hasn't changed that much since I was a kid. So I go and I remember all this stuff, too.
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Really? How fun. That is great. Well, this is a great subject, and I'd love to talk about that a little bit more, but… One of the first questions, if you don't mind.
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Let's just kind of take off with, because there'll be a lot of people that will watch this podcast, and what advice Can you offer them, the ones that may be going through some grieving, the loss of a loved one, whether it be the cancer, and
00:18:52.000 --> 00:19:04.000
It's more prevalent now, and it's sad in so many ways. Is there… Anything that you did that was special, or that you could share with others that may have helped that could help them, may have helped you going through it?
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:17.000
Yeah, you know, it's a good question. I remember… so my wife was diagnosed in… late 2022. I want to say September or October of 2022.
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And she passed in December of 23. So we had her for about 14 months between the diagnosis and And when she ultimately passed. And… In January of 23, so right after, I mean, the diagnosis is still fairly new.
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I… my older son plays on a travel soccer club, and so we had a game in Jacksonville.
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And I was sitting in the lobby. With some of the other parents, some of the other dads.
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You know, the kids had all gone to bed, we were… We were having… we were sharing some bourbon and… and just talking as dads, and soccer dads, and whatnot.
00:19:54.000 --> 00:20:14.000
And I remember one of them saying to me, you know, I don't know how you do it. I don't know how you… manage, you know, your wife just had this diagnosis, you've got the two kids, you've got… And I have been shedding responsibilities, but at the time, I was the team manager for the soccer club, I was the…
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:23.000
Treasurer for my younger son's Cub Scout pack. I was the president of my homeowners association. I mean, I… I have trouble saying no to people.
00:20:23.000 --> 00:20:24.000
But… yeah. But what I said to him was, you know.
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It sounds like it.
00:20:28.000 --> 00:20:48.000
What's the alternative? I'm not gonna… I'm not gonna curl into a ball and start crying every night. You gotta… you gotta put one foot in front of the other, you know, you gotta be… You gotta be the dad. You gotta… you gotta be the… the role model. And so, when I'm with my kids, when I'm with my wife, I'm doing things to…
00:20:48.000 --> 00:21:02.000
To help them, to support them. Now. That doesn't mean there weren't times I'd be alone in the car, you know, bawling my eyes out, but… But publicly, you've… you've got to do… you've got to do what you gotta do, and… and…
00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:08.000
You know, I did have… probably in June of 23.
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Um, I had signed up with a private counselor. And so that was a huge help to have a counselor to bounce these thoughts and feelings and talk to her about what was going on in my life.
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After my wife passed, and we can get more into some of this as well, but after my wife passed.
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Um, I… I contacted my kid's school counselors And they got us set up with counseling through the school system.
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Good.
00:21:41.000 --> 00:21:51.000
And so we've had… my younger son has a… had a counselor, now that school's out of session, they've taken a break, but I assume they'll start up again when school starts.
00:21:51.000 --> 00:22:02.000
But my son had a count… my younger son had a counselor, we had family counseling, the three of us, we had a family counselor that would come out once a week and sit here at home and talk to the three of us.
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And my older son did not want a counselor, and so… I think I learned, you know, not to push. We all grieve differently, and so… If he's not ready for a counselor right now, I'm not gonna push that on him.
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We do.
00:22:27.000 --> 00:22:35.000
So, I think those are my two biggest… takeaways is that you know, you gotta… you gotta keep going. You can't… you know, take some time, do what you gotta do, you know, there's… even… even today, I was talking to a friend of mine about, you know, and a wave of grief came over me, but…
00:22:35.000 --> 00:22:49.000
But, you know, one foot in front of the other, and get help. There's all… I joined… There's a Facebook page for solo dads, and so I joined that group, and I got involved in that group as well, and so
00:22:49.000 --> 00:23:09.000
Having the experience of other widowers has also been tremendous, because, you know, we all know, and… and… Even within the widower community, it's interesting because You know, for example, my wife… battled this disease for 14 months. There are other people in the solo dads group that
00:23:09.000 --> 00:23:27.000
The wife got into a car accident and passed away, or, you know, it was a 2-month between diagnosis and when the wife passed. So, there's all kinds of different levels of of what we all go through, and so how we deal with it, and how we…
00:23:27.000 --> 00:23:29.000
How we're able to process it.
00:23:29.000 --> 00:23:35.000
It is true, and I'm so glad as a coach, that you're thinking about those things, and your oldest son.
00:23:35.000 --> 00:23:41.000
Maybe even some macho, because macho is not always negative. Macho can be very valuable.
00:23:41.000 --> 00:23:45.000
But him not wanting a coach, but him wanting to stand on his own two feet.
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:53.000
I'm… I have coaches, I have two of them, but… Coach is coaching, coaches. It's… we coach each other in the process and help each other.
00:23:53.000 --> 00:24:00.000
But it helps us open up, but… Your oldest son, leaving that open for him.
00:24:00.000 --> 00:24:04.000
I'm sure it could have been difficult at times, but… He may come around later, where he may want somebody to talk to still, right?
00:24:04.000 --> 00:24:17.000
Yeah. Yeah, and you know, if you ever… I told them Uh, when my wife… went into hospice.
00:24:17.000 --> 00:24:34.000
I sat both boys down, and I said, you know, I'm always gonna be honest with you, and I want you always to be honest with me, and I'm not gonna… sugarcoat anything, and I, you know, I'll always be… I'll always be straight with you, and so I think that… that helped a lot as well.
00:24:34.000 --> 00:24:44.000
And, uh, you know, I actually… Uh, just before jumping on this call, I got a text message that, uh, end-of-year report cards were out.
00:24:44.000 --> 00:24:52.000
My older son got straight A's, and my younger son got, I think, 2Bs and the rest A's. So.
00:24:52.000 --> 00:25:03.000
They're both good students, they're both… I get compliments all the time about they're just good kids, they're good people, which I'm sure my wife had much more to do with than me.
00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:10.000
Um, but, uh, but yeah, they're good boys, and so I, you know, I want to encourage that as well.
00:25:10.000 --> 00:25:24.000
And I'm so glad you're on here, because I think it shows also, I agree with you 100%, I know Eileen, um… My sweetheart, a lot of times, when she doesn't even think I do, because… She does drive more than she thinks.
00:25:24.000 --> 00:25:35.000
But I think you're also, though. A great dad, because that ability, when you were able However, you fought forward to stay active.
00:25:35.000 --> 00:25:43.000
And to keep them active, and keep them involved in the things that they're doing. And these summer programs, you're putting your… Your son's in, too.
00:25:43.000 --> 00:25:44.000
Keeping them involved.
00:25:44.000 --> 00:25:59.000
Yeah. And, you know, that does remind me, we have a tremendous community here, so… Uh, we… their moms and dads that are… that were friends of mine and my wife's that have helped out with the boys.
00:25:59.000 --> 00:26:06.000
Um, my mom lives in Tallahassee. Ironically, I lost my dad a few months ago, so… Yeah, the last couple years have kind of… kind of beaten me up a little bit.
00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:11.000
Oh, I'm sorry.
00:26:11.000 --> 00:26:22.000
But… but we have a tremendous… tremendous community of moms and grandparents and friends, and… you know, my son is in this cooking camp.
00:26:22.000 --> 00:26:27.000
With two other of his friends, and me and the other two moms.
00:26:27.000 --> 00:26:41.000
Have all coordinated where we're gonna… you know, I'm only picking up or dropping off, you know, on 2 or 3 of the days, and the other moms are doing it The other days. And so, we're very, very lucky to have, uh.
00:26:41.000 --> 00:26:55.000
A tremendous community of people that… that are… that are helping us out, uh, as well. So… I remember it… one of those moments that… that, you know, caused me to break down a little bit.
00:26:55.000 --> 00:27:01.000
My kids, my… my son had a bike that he had outgrown.
00:27:01.000 --> 00:27:13.000
And this was right after my wife passed, and… he was still riding this… this smaller bike to get to school every day.
00:27:13.000 --> 00:27:27.000
And the friend of his, so he would ride to his friend's house, and then they would ride to school together and lock up their bikes, and the mom of the friend saw that my younger son was riding this bike that was too small.
00:27:27.000 --> 00:27:33.000
And so, uh, one day. Brand new bike shows up on my doorstep.
00:27:33.000 --> 00:27:34.000
Wow.
00:27:34.000 --> 00:27:46.000
And I called her, and I said, what the heck is this? And she said, well, we had collected up some money to buy him a used bike, but we had collected up so much money that we just bought him a brand new one.
00:27:46.000 --> 00:27:47.000
What a great neighborhood. Family circle.
00:27:47.000 --> 00:27:56.000
And a few months… It was amazing. And then a few months later, it happened again, but with my older son. So my older son got jealous that my younger son got a new bike, so the same group of moms
00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:07.000
Collected more money and bought my older son a bike. And so it, you know, we have… It's… it's actually… it's kind of ironic.
00:28:07.000 --> 00:28:11.000
I had a friend of mine, uh, just pass away a few months ago.
00:28:11.000 --> 00:28:20.000
And, um, you know, like, like you mentioned, I have a podcast, and so I'm very… connected to the podcast community, especially here in Tampa Bay.
00:28:20.000 --> 00:28:25.000
And the guy who passed was, um, very well known in the podcast community.
00:28:25.000 --> 00:28:30.000
And so I'm on some of those podcast, um, Facebook pages and whatnot.
00:28:30.000 --> 00:28:31.000
Right.
00:28:31.000 --> 00:28:38.000
I remember, uh, the post going out saying, hey, we need to start a meal train for the widow.
00:28:38.000 --> 00:28:48.000
And I responded to the message, because that's what… when people say someone's pa… when people hear someone's passed away, the first thing they think is meal train. Let me… let me get them food.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:56.000
My experience with food was that we got so much of it that we couldn't eat it all before it went bad.
00:28:56.000 --> 00:29:08.000
And people would say, well, just throw it in the freezer. My freezer was full of food.
00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.000
No.
00:29:09.000 --> 00:29:18.000
And so, between what was in the freezer and what was in the fridge, we couldn't eat it fast enough, plus I'm diabetic. I've got type 2 diabetes, and so it… It's under control, um, you know, I exercise, I eat right, my A1C is normal, my fasting sugar's back to normal, but I still have to watch
00:29:18.000 --> 00:29:28.000
My sugar intake, and so they're making me… pastas and… and I remember… I remember one of them made me, um… chicken parmesan, which is breaded chicken and pasta, which are two things that'll spike your blood sugar.
00:29:28.000 --> 00:29:31.000
Ah, yes.
00:29:31.000 --> 00:29:40.000
And so, what I did was I reached out to that podcaster group, and I said, hey, look, if she wants, if the widow wants food.
00:29:40.000 --> 00:29:44.000
Go for it. But here's what would be better than food.
00:29:44.000 --> 00:29:45.000
Get her a gift card… get her a gift card to the grocery store. Get her a gift card to a restaurant.
00:29:45.000 --> 00:29:50.000
That's awesome.
00:29:50.000 --> 00:30:02.000
Get her… one of the… one of the ladies in my community bought me two and a half or three months' worth of maid service.
00:30:02.000 --> 00:30:03.000
And so I had a maid come in every two weeks and clean the house.
00:30:03.000 --> 00:30:06.000
Wow. How helpful.
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:12.000
Um, and I've continued with that, so I… I now, you know, pay her, and she was actually here today, so my house is clean.
00:30:12.000 --> 00:30:16.000
My wife… my wife would be happy that my house is clean.
00:30:16.000 --> 00:30:21.000
Um, in two weeks, don't ask me, but in three weeks, when it comes back, ask me again.
00:30:21.000 --> 00:30:32.000
Um, so… so yeah, I mean, there's… there's lots of ways to… to help people, and there's… there's lots of things that… that I'm very thankful for to the community.
00:30:32.000 --> 00:30:37.000
Well, Sean, if you don't mind, I want to commend you on your attitude.
00:30:37.000 --> 00:30:44.000
Because it's tough, and I have no idea what it's like what you've been through. You know, both my parents passed of lung cancer.
00:30:44.000 --> 00:30:50.000
But the attitude that you have kept That smile that you have in your voice.
00:30:50.000 --> 00:30:57.000
I think that is a signal to I hope everyone that's on this call, that listens to this call.
00:30:57.000 --> 00:31:02.000
To see that it can be done. You've been through a lot.
00:31:02.000 --> 00:31:03.000
But your attitude, how do you do that?
00:31:03.000 --> 00:31:18.000
Yeah. And… I, you know, I appreciate it, and I wish I had a good answer for your question, it's just… goes back to one of the original points that I made, which is, you know, what is the alternative? I mean.
00:31:18.000 --> 00:31:24.000
I'm not gonna… it's not gonna do anybody any good for me to, you know, cry all day and be depressed.
00:31:24.000 --> 00:31:33.000
That I… that I lost my wife. It… it is… It is constantly something I am… I am sad about. I think about her every day.
00:31:33.000 --> 00:31:38.000
Her pictures are still up. In fact, you can't see it, but there's a picture of her right over there.
00:31:38.000 --> 00:31:39.000
Um, you know, there's pictures of her all over our house.
00:31:39.000 --> 00:31:42.000
Okay.
00:31:42.000 --> 00:31:50.000
You know, every time I log onto Facebook and I see Facebook memories, and so… I'm never gonna forget her, I'm never gonna let the boys forget her.
00:31:50.000 --> 00:31:52.000
Right.
00:31:52.000 --> 00:31:56.000
I always miss her, I'm always gonna miss her, I'm always gonna love her.
00:31:56.000 --> 00:32:07.000
But, you know, I mean… I gotta… you gotta… you gotta put one foot in front of the other. You gotta keep moving forward. Now, do I give myself permission?
00:32:07.000 --> 00:32:12.000
To… to, you know, let loose and chop some onions every once in a while? Sure.
00:32:12.000 --> 00:32:20.000
But, you know, you gotta be… you know, you just… I don't know, I don't know that I have a really good answer for that question.
00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:27.000
Well, I think you did answer it. I thought you answered it very well, and like you're saying, the chopping onion is time to go ahead and cry. It doesn't hurt anyone.
00:32:27.000 --> 00:32:28.000
It didn't hurt me to cry. It didn't hurt you to cry. It didn't hurt anyone to cry.
00:32:28.000 --> 00:32:31.000
Yeah. Right.
00:32:31.000 --> 00:32:45.000
It's what you do after it, and… So I talk to people from the Christian… areas, Christian neighborhoods in our church is It's great to get down on your knee and pray, or knees and pray, but you've got to get up off your knees.
00:32:45.000 --> 00:32:54.000
To make things happen. And that's what we all have to do And each and every incident of our life, what happens is.
00:32:54.000 --> 00:32:58.000
We can cry, we can pray, we can do a lot of things.
00:32:58.000 --> 00:33:04.000
But we have to get up and keep going, and I think that what you've done a great job doing with yourself and your sons.
00:33:04.000 --> 00:33:10.000
And being that Great dad. From good to great.
00:33:10.000 --> 00:33:16.000
Because you're actually keeping them involved in things. As you mentioned, you'll never forget her. You'll never quit loving her.
00:33:16.000 --> 00:33:17.000
Right. Right.
00:33:17.000 --> 00:33:25.000
But to have that life to continue going. And I know many times you'd wish that she could see you, or could be there.
00:33:25.000 --> 00:33:33.000
But just… with her looking down on you and smiling. You know that it's still… the best for all of you, for everyone.
00:33:33.000 --> 00:33:34.000
Yeah.
00:33:34.000 --> 00:33:42.000
And that keeping going, and… Making something of your life, as you would want her to, right? If the situation was changed?
00:33:42.000 --> 00:33:46.000
I was talking to somebody, I was talking to a friend of mine about that today.
00:33:46.000 --> 00:33:53.000
One of my mentors, one of my business coaches. I was talking to her about this today, and I said, you know.
00:33:53.000 --> 00:34:08.000
That it's… with… with… grief, it's interesting. So, I would never… want to… I would never want to hurt myself. I would never do anything to myself, intentionally.
00:34:08.000 --> 00:34:28.000
But sometimes, I can't help but think what would my kids' lives look like? What would this world look like if the situation was reversed. What would it look like if I had been the one that contracted pancreatic cancer and died, and my wife were still here.
00:34:28.000 --> 00:34:32.000
And, you know, not from a perspective of I would ever hurt myself.
00:34:32.000 --> 00:34:46.000
But… but more just from the perspective of what would that… what would that look like? What would be, you know, the… I'm a huge superhero fan, and so, you know, Marvel has that show on Disney Plus called What If? And
00:34:46.000 --> 00:35:02.000
You know, what would happen if you know, Peggy Carter was Captain America, or Captain Britain instead of Steve Rogers becoming Captain America. What would be different? What would the world look like And I've thought about that, um, from time to time.
00:35:02.000 --> 00:35:23.000
You know, and it's… that grief is a weird thing. And you just gotta… you know, when I feel one of those waves come on, I'll… I'll get up and I'll walk around, and I'll… take a breath, or if it's later at night, maybe I'll pour myself a glass of bourbon, or, you know, whatever, but, you know, you…
00:35:23.000 --> 00:35:24.000
You do what you've got to do, and you continue on with some strength.
00:35:24.000 --> 00:35:31.000
You do what you gotta do.
00:35:31.000 --> 00:35:32.000
Yeah.
00:35:32.000 --> 00:35:40.000
That power that you can share with others. And one of the things, a little bit of change of subject, but… When I relate it back to my situation back during my divorce, and… And the custody issues.
00:35:40.000 --> 00:35:52.000
I am also appreciative that You are working with the moms as well. Of course, working with the dads, but The best parent is both parents. Now, you'll see me here this week.
00:35:52.000 --> 00:35:59.000
Focusing on and… helping the fathers, the dads, and dad parenting.
00:35:59.000 --> 00:36:03.000
Because it's June, and then I'm gonna do the mothers in August, be doing the same thing in August.
00:36:03.000 --> 00:36:10.000
But that ability… Or the… the mail, the man, in the situation.
00:36:10.000 --> 00:36:23.000
Has been difficult, because I know when it was me. I was looked a little bit awkwardly. Most people were just impressed that I was there would be me and… not really 99, I like that word, 99, I guess, but…
00:36:23.000 --> 00:36:30.000
99 of the women and one guy, and… I participated, and my two kids were there, I had a boy and a girl.
00:36:30.000 --> 00:36:34.000
And to be able to work with them. And they worked with me, they helped me feel comfortable.
00:36:34.000 --> 00:36:40.000
And I think a lot of dads, a lot of fathers today, won't do that.
00:36:40.000 --> 00:36:49.000
Because of that fulfilling… separate, still feeling… maybe… Separated from the…
00:36:49.000 --> 00:37:09.000
Yeah, you know, I… You know, I almost came at it from the other angle, so… I really haven't… had an issue… um, talking to… you know, moms, when it's… and a lot of the… a lot of our friends, I don't know that we've really had any
00:37:09.000 --> 00:37:28.000
Of the friends that me and my wife had, the parents that have been through a divorce yet. I can maybe think of one couple, but… but… Other than that, um… And so, it's just, you know, I'm talking to my friends, and whether it's the wife, or the husband, or whatever.
00:37:28.000 --> 00:37:36.000
The interesting thing was, um, a friend of mine had just turned 40 earlier this year.
00:37:36.000 --> 00:37:44.000
And, uh, so here in Tampa Bay, we had the Reggae Rise Up Music Festival, and so he's a huge… reggae music fan, and so he invited me to go with him on his 40th birthday to go to the festival, and my
00:37:44.000 --> 00:37:49.000
Yeah.
00:37:49.000 --> 00:38:00.000
My first thought was. I'm gonna be the only single guy going, and here's all… you know, I'm gonna be, like, the 11th wheel, or whatever it was.
00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:15.000
But nobody really cared. Um… it was kind of weird… you know, going to that first New Year's party without my wife, and I kind of felt like people were looking at me like… oh, that's the guy whose wife just died.
00:38:15.000 --> 00:38:35.000
But they really weren't. That was all in my own head, and… you know, feeling like the 11th wheel at Reggae Rise Up. All that was in my own head. That's no… nobody really… in my experience, nobody really… thinks that way, and I think for me, and my personality.
00:38:35.000 --> 00:38:49.000
It's… it's healthy for me to talk about it, because A lot of people… get apprehensive about you know, oh, his wife died. But if I talk about it.
00:38:49.000 --> 00:39:03.000
That takes away some of the… apprehension where, you know, other people talk about it. And so that's… you know, again, everybody's… everybody's personality, everybody's grief, everybody is different, but that's… That's what helps me.
00:39:03.000 --> 00:39:17.000
Right. Well, I'm glad you brought that up, too, about… as you mentioned the… The 11th wheel, that feeling awkward, but… It is on us when we're that way. It's mostly us, it's not the other people.
00:39:17.000 --> 00:39:24.000
They would like to talk, if you want to talk, and… To be able to be a little bit more outgoing, like you're saying.
00:39:24.000 --> 00:39:25.000
Makes a huge difference, right?
00:39:25.000 --> 00:39:32.000
Right. Yeah. I mean, it's been… It's been healthy to talk about it for me.
00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:33.000
Yeah.
00:39:33.000 --> 00:39:39.000
And I get, you know, everybody's different, so other widows, widowers, may not want to talk about it, and that's fine too.
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:52.000
It is. Well, what's kind of inspired you to focus some of your work? Is this kind of things that we're talking about maybe inspired you a little bit on helping the dads and the fathers and the families going forward?
00:39:52.000 --> 00:39:59.000
So, you're talking about from the… from the… my job, from the legal perspective you're talking about?
00:39:59.000 --> 00:40:10.000
Well, I'd like to be… maybe even touch a little bit on both, but yes, mostly your legal perspective and… What you do in law and helping, because You help people on the financial side, and a lot of people going through divorce
00:40:10.000 --> 00:40:14.000
Have financial issues. We hate to admit it. I have no idea, but it's difficult, but…
00:40:14.000 --> 00:40:25.000
Yeah, so I've never… I've known since high school that I wanted to be an attorney. My dad was a CPA, excuse me, my dad was a CPA.
00:40:25.000 --> 00:40:33.000
And, uh, so my undergrad degree is in accounting. I tell people that qualifies me to run a calculator, and that's about it.
00:40:33.000 --> 00:40:42.000
But, um, my dad was a CPA, and so that's why I went and got the undergrad degree in accounting, but I knew from day one that I wanted to be an attorney.
00:40:42.000 --> 00:40:48.000
For me, everything kind of goes back to interestingly, when I was growing up.
00:40:48.000 --> 00:40:55.000
I was bullied. I was a, you know, I was 90 pounds soaking wet, and… and, you know, straight-A student, in the band.
00:40:55.000 --> 00:41:02.000
Although I was in the drumline, so that's… that's a little different, but… Um, and so, interestingly.
00:41:02.000 --> 00:41:14.000
The kids that picked on me were not the jocks. My best friend in the entire world. I've known this guy since I was 4, since we were 4, He's my best man, I was his best man.
00:41:14.000 --> 00:41:26.000
Um, I… I still see him every, you know, year or so. I… we get together. In fact, this… this spring break trip that I mentioned, where we went down to the Keys, we went down and went fishing and swimming with with him and the Keys.
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:36.000
He was captain of the football team, captain of the wrestling team, first baseman on the baseball team, so… None of the jocks ever picked on me growing up.
00:41:36.000 --> 00:41:42.000
The band kids were a different story. When I was in that band room, I had to defend myself.
00:41:42.000 --> 00:42:07.000
And so, I was… I was really bullied. A lot, uh, growing up as a kid, and so I think that's… shaped me in terms of I don't like when people feel or appear uh, bullied. And… So that led to, you know, the financial bullies, and people are coming after me for money, and that then led to
00:42:07.000 --> 00:42:12.000
You know, the real estate and the bankruptcy practice that I have now.
00:42:12.000 --> 00:42:25.000
Um, the interesting thing, I was doing a presentation to one of my networking groups and talking about this concept of bullying and whatnot, and Pancreatic cancer is probably the biggest bully I've ever faced, but… I'm gonna… I'm gonna do what I can to take a chunk out of its rear end, so…
00:42:25.000 --> 00:42:29.000
Wow, yeah, I bet.
00:42:29.000 --> 00:42:35.000
Um, all of that just seems to fit into why I do what I do.
00:42:35.000 --> 00:42:44.000
That's amazing, and the strength that you have is… it… Mentally is… is amazing, and that whole process.
00:42:44.000 --> 00:42:49.000
And as you talk about this, and as you're describing some of these situations.
00:42:49.000 --> 00:42:56.000
Did you find any… maybe unique challenges that you may have faced, maybe fathers face.
00:42:56.000 --> 00:42:59.000
After the loss of a spouse, I think you mentioned a couple earlier.
00:42:59.000 --> 00:43:00.000
What are some major…
00:43:00.000 --> 00:43:10.000
Yeah. You know, there's a difference between… and I have a tremendous amount of respect for any a single parent.
00:43:10.000 --> 00:43:17.000
But that being said, I think there is a difference between a widow or widower and a divorcee.
00:43:17.000 --> 00:43:23.000
In most cases, or some cases. When a couple gets divorced.
00:43:23.000 --> 00:43:31.000
The parents can split responsibilities. Now, I know there's custody issues, and there's, you know.
00:43:31.000 --> 00:43:36.000
If there was abuse or whatever, I get all that. But generally.
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:45.000
In a divorce situation. The parents can… can kind of… split custody if they want to, if they need to, if they're able to.
00:43:45.000 --> 00:43:51.000
Um, in a… in a widow or widower situation, that's not possible.
00:43:51.000 --> 00:44:08.000
I mean, I can't… My wife isn't here anymore, so the possibility of joint custody is gone, so… I've got to take on everything, and, you know, it hit me Last year, my son was trying out for the soccer team.
00:44:08.000 --> 00:44:12.000
And he made a soccer, those are the pictures behind me here of all the different soccer teams.
00:44:12.000 --> 00:44:13.000
Yeah. That's awesome.
00:44:13.000 --> 00:44:20.000
But, um, he made the song. Yeah, he made the soccer team, but he didn't make it at the level that he wanted.
00:44:20.000 --> 00:44:32.000
And so I remember I approached it from the dad, from the guy perspective. We're gonna work out, we're gonna go for runs, we're gonna… take soccer lessons, you're gonna try hard, you're gonna do better next year.
00:44:32.000 --> 00:44:43.000
And it hit me that… What he probably needed was just a hug from mom to say, you're the best soccer player ever, and I love you.
00:44:43.000 --> 00:44:49.000
And it kind of hit me that I now have to be… dad and mom.
00:44:49.000 --> 00:44:52.000
Both.
00:44:52.000 --> 00:45:03.000
And I need to come at it from both angles. And that… you know, that presents another set of challenges. I was very… like I said, I was very honest with my kids, and I said to them both.
00:45:03.000 --> 00:45:09.000
You all are going to have to grow up a lot sooner than you would have if, you know, mom were still here.
00:45:09.000 --> 00:45:16.000
Um, I leave… so during the school year. My younger son rides the… we live about a mile from school.
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So my younger son would ride his bike to school. Uh, one of the moms picks up my older son and takes him to the bus stop.
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And so I would get out of the house between 7.30 and 8 o'clock after my older son got picked up.
00:45:29.000 --> 00:45:34.000
But then I gotta leave the office by 3.30 at the latest.
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:39.000
Because I'm picking up both boys, uh, both of my older son and his friend.
00:45:39.000 --> 00:45:45.000
I'm picking them up at the bus stop to bring them home, and then I've got to finish my workday from home.
00:45:45.000 --> 00:46:00.000
But then, if there's soccer practice that night, I can't work, I gotta focus on dinner or if there's Cub Scouts that night, I gotta focus on dinner, or I gotta leave to go to the Sur La Tab to pick them up, or, you know, whatever it is, so…
00:46:00.000 --> 00:46:18.000
It's a lot of adjustment in terms of you know, from 8 to… Three, I have to go all out working. I mean, I eat lunch while I work, I'm basically tied to my desk, but once 3 o'clock, 3.30 rolls around.
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:26.000
I gotta give myself permission to do what I can. And if there's an urgent matter, I'll do it. If not, it'll be there tomorrow.
00:46:26.000 --> 00:46:40.000
And what… look at the memories, though, that you're making, Sean. That's one of the things that even… my better half than I, we talk about it as the pictures, and we're good at sending pictures back and forth, but Those pictures that you're creating, those memories you're creating.
00:46:40.000 --> 00:46:50.000
Those are going to be so important, and both my kids are… in their 30s, and they're way beyond… I'm lucky to get a call once in a while, or call them, and they have time to talk.
00:46:50.000 --> 00:46:51.000
Right?
00:46:51.000 --> 00:47:00.000
These memories that you're building right now, these pictures. Are so important for you and for them.
00:47:00.000 --> 00:47:01.000
It's… it…
00:47:01.000 --> 00:47:16.000
Yeah. Well, and that's… that's… that's probably what drives me, is… you know, now I've got to be, I've gotta be super organized, I've gotta be, you know… What are we doing for me? I wake up at 5 o'clock every morning.
00:47:16.000 --> 00:47:27.000
5 to 6 is, for me, so I'll have a cup of coffee, I'll… read, I'll, you know, sometimes I put on running shoes, and I go out for a run, you know, whatever it is.
00:47:27.000 --> 00:47:34.000
6 o'clock, I gotta start on lunches and breakfast. And pack the boys' lunches, and make breakfast for everybody.
00:47:34.000 --> 00:47:40.000
Uh, they're out the door, 7.30, 7730, I'm on with my day.
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I'm home at 3, I pick them up. By about 4 o'clock, I am done.
00:47:46.000 --> 00:47:47.000
I can only imagine.
00:47:47.000 --> 00:47:52.000
And, you know… you know, I gotta work… I have… had to work a little bit more on the weekends.
00:47:52.000 --> 00:47:58.000
I used to, um… do nothing on Friday. I have a networking meeting every Friday morning.
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I record my podcast episodes on Friday after that. And then typically, I was done.
00:48:10.000 --> 00:48:11.000
Yeah.
00:48:11.000 --> 00:48:16.000
Now I've had to cannibalize a Friday here and a Friday there to, you know, catch up on any work that I might have missed during the week, and… I have to be very… I have to be very… if it's not on my calendar, it's not getting done. I don't have room.
00:48:16.000 --> 00:48:18.000
It's not…
00:48:18.000 --> 00:48:22.000
People say, call me when you can. I can call you at, like, 2 o'clock tonight in the morning, but what do you mean, call me when you can?
00:48:22.000 --> 00:48:29.000
Mhm. That's why I sent them to my Calendly link, and so you find time on there.
00:48:29.000 --> 00:48:32.000
A 15-minute, 30-minute breaks, buying time there. Sean, we only have about 8 more minutes.
00:48:32.000 --> 00:48:35.000
Yeah.
00:48:35.000 --> 00:48:42.000
And I've touched on just a couple of things. Because it is Father's Day week, and this is Mental Health Month for fathers, and for dads.
00:48:42.000 --> 00:48:51.000
And what services or programs can you offer specifically for dads and families at your office.
00:48:51.000 --> 00:49:03.000
At my office, so… you know, again, my biggest focus is probably… my biggest focus is debt, and helping people to eliminate debt, and that's what the podcast is about, is about getting out of debt.
00:49:03.000 --> 00:49:14.000
And there's a lot of questions that I get when someone dies, and… ironically, when my dad passed, I was answering those same questions for my mom and my sister.
00:49:14.000 --> 00:49:23.000
And, you know, when someone passes, the majority of their debt passes with them, and so you don't necessarily have to pay it.
00:49:23.000 --> 00:49:31.000
Now, if the debt is joint debt, so if my wife and I had, like, our mortgage, for example, is joint debt, I still gotta pay that.
00:49:31.000 --> 00:49:34.000
Because that's, you know, that's under my name, I want to keep the house.
00:49:34.000 --> 00:49:55.000
But, you know, I think the advice that I would give would be to pre-plan. You know, people don't want to… talk about estate planning, and it… it was… it was… I don't know if the right word is ironic, or weird, or strange, or ominous, but…
00:49:55.000 --> 00:50:03.000
My wife was diagnosed within a month or two after we signed our estate planning documents.
00:50:03.000 --> 00:50:04.000
Wow.
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And I'm… 2020 hindsight, I'm glad we did it, because When she passed, you know, there were no issues with her, uh, you know.
00:50:15.000 --> 00:50:31.000
Retirement accounts, there were no issues with her assets, there were no issues with you know, putting any of that stuff together when she went into hospice, I had all the paperwork to give to hospice to be the medical a surrogate, and all that kind of stuff, and… and…
00:50:31.000 --> 00:50:43.000
Doing the estate plan just gave me peace of mind. Um, and so I think I would probably say the biggest piece of advice that I would give somebody else, although I rambled on for a minute, was, uh.
00:50:43.000 --> 00:50:56.000
Get with your estate planning attorney and get your estate plan in place before it's too late, and it's morbid to think about, but… It gives you such comfort when it's done, because you know, if something happens to me.
00:50:56.000 --> 00:51:03.000
Here's what my wife is gonna do. If something happens to my wife, if something happens to both of us, if something happens to the kids.
00:51:03.000 --> 00:51:07.000
It just gets rid of that part of the stress level.
00:51:07.000 --> 00:51:16.000
And that's one of the things that I do, is help them communicate. It is a tough situation, but we are all going to go through this at some point or another.
00:51:16.000 --> 00:51:22.000
And we just don't know when it's going to happen. So the better that we can talk about it and find out what each other wants.
00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:23.000
It makes a huge difference, right? That's… that's what we've got to be.
00:51:23.000 --> 00:51:42.000
Right. Yeah, no, I… and… Yeah, I talked to my wife about it, you know, what do you want to do when you go? And we had the… those were… Those are… that conversation, the conversation about what happens when you die, was a very weird one. The other weird one was…
00:51:42.000 --> 00:51:52.000
Lying in bed, and my wife would say, when I'm gone, you have my permission to date. And I would always respond and say, can I wait till you're gone, or do you want me to start, like, right now?
00:51:52.000 --> 00:52:01.000
And she smiled and didn't hit you. That's a good attitude.
00:52:01.000 --> 00:52:02.000
Yeah, that's, uh… but it sounded like you had a great relationship.
00:52:02.000 --> 00:52:13.000
So… but yeah, we had… Yeah, we… we did. We… we… you know, unfortunately, so May would have been our 15th wedding anniversary.
00:52:13.000 --> 00:52:29.000
We knew each other… I think we met in 2007, I believe, so, you know, she was only part of my life for… 17, 18 years, but… two boys, she was largely the most significant part of my life.
00:52:29.000 --> 00:52:45.000
Yeah. That's wonderful, and… As you talk about that, what's been… As you work with families and helping families, what's been… Maybe one of the most rewarding aspects of your work so far, and in helping others.
00:52:45.000 --> 00:52:53.000
I think that's it. In other words, I know that I've done a good consultation with a client when they say, thank you, I can sleep tonight.
00:52:53.000 --> 00:53:00.000
Or, uh, you know, I just spoke with a client today that, you know, we had to file a bankruptcy for her.
00:53:00.000 --> 00:53:08.000
The… the… we had her meeting with the trustee today. The trustee saw no issues, she's gonna get her discharge, her debt's gonna be eliminated.
00:53:08.000 --> 00:53:15.000
And just listening to the weight lift off of her shoulders, and knowing that she's now debt-free.
00:53:15.000 --> 00:53:18.000
You know, that's… that's what drives me every day.
00:53:18.000 --> 00:53:35.000
Into those phone calls and the stress that goes along with that problem. Thank you for doing that. There's… Okay, a lot of people that you know better than I do, they just don't know that it's not wrong. It's a way to rebuild your life.
00:53:35.000 --> 00:53:51.000
Yeah, and there's been plenty of people that I've said bankruptcy is a bad choice, but There's been plenty of people that need that second bite at the apple, and… It's a tool that's granted by our Constitution and our federal and state laws, and so…
00:53:51.000 --> 00:53:56.000
Everyone needs… everyone needs a, uh… uh, helping hand from time to time.
00:53:56.000 --> 00:54:05.000
And like you said, there's always what I call the 20%. I have a speech on the 20-60-20 principle, based off the Pareto 80-20 rule.
00:54:05.000 --> 00:54:06.000
Right.
00:54:06.000 --> 00:54:12.000
There's gonna be 20% of extremes on both sides, no matter what you do. There's people that are going to file bankruptcy only to just escape paying debts they shouldn't have bought to begin with.
00:54:12.000 --> 00:54:13.000
Right?
00:54:13.000 --> 00:54:26.000
And there's gonna be the 20% that are just in extremely bad situations that… They have no choice if they don't do it, it's… Much worse than ever. But there's a lot of people that are going through things that you've gone through, and… or others, and they're much worse that…
00:54:26.000 --> 00:54:35.000
Sometimes, you're put in a bad situation, right? And… you need to recover and not… take that down with you.
00:54:35.000 --> 00:54:36.000
But rebuild.
00:54:36.000 --> 00:54:44.000
Good. Bad stuff happens to good people all the time, and that's what… that's what bankruptcy is for when it's financial.
00:54:44.000 --> 00:54:48.000
Is there anything… we have just about 2 minutes left, minute and a half left.
00:54:48.000 --> 00:54:53.000
Thank you so much, Sean. I so appreciate you being on here and giving some good insight.
00:54:53.000 --> 00:55:02.000
To others, the fathers, but mothers as well, parents. On this show, and if there's people like you out there that can help.
00:55:02.000 --> 00:55:09.000
What message… do you have a message you'd like to leave with the fathers and the families who may be struggling right now?
00:55:09.000 --> 00:55:14.000
Reach out to somebody, talk to somebody, whether that's your best friend.
00:55:14.000 --> 00:55:25.000
Whether that's your… you know, yoga buddy, whether that's your cigar buddy, your drinking buddy, a professional counselor, you know, whatever.
00:55:25.000 --> 00:55:39.000
You can reach out to somebody Because there are always people that will want to talk to you. Reach out to me. I mean, I don't care. Talking to other you know, solo dads. I'll do that, or solo moms even, you know, widows even, I'll do that as well, but… but…
00:55:39.000 --> 00:55:42.000
Reach out to somebody.
00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:46.000
Thank you, Sean. I so appreciate you being on here and being able to reach out to those.
00:55:46.000 --> 00:55:51.000
Because our call to action is How can we, you.
00:55:51.000 --> 00:55:59.000
All of our valued listeners. Join us in strengthening Fatherhood. Motherhood. Parenting.
00:55:59.000 --> 00:56:09.000
And promoting family unity in our own community. We invite everyone to reflect on today's discussion and consider one small step.
00:56:09.000 --> 00:56:13.000
That each of us can take, whether it's reaching out to another dad.
00:56:13.000 --> 00:56:20.000
Another mom, another parent. Seeking support for ourselves, giving… getting ahold of Sean.
00:56:20.000 --> 00:56:26.000
Our advocating for family. Family-friendly initiatives, because each of our actions matter.
00:56:26.000 --> 00:56:29.000
Thank you for joining us today on this journey toward unity.
00:56:29.000 --> 00:56:39.000
Inspiration and stronger families. Remember, every step we take, and Sean mentioned this, that one step Every step we take together makes a difference.
00:56:39.000 --> 00:56:47.000
Keep moving forward, and let us all continue building a brighter future for our children and our family and our community.
00:56:47.000 --> 00:56:53.000
Join us in honoring every father's journey. As we celebrate them this month.
00:56:53.000 --> 00:57:01.000
Let's continue building stronger, healthier families together. Until next time, take care and stay united. Thank you for joining us.
00:57:01.000 --> 00:57:09.000
Because remember, by encouraging. Inspiring, and including others, EII, you are actively building unity.
00:57:09.000 --> 00:57:14.000
And success in every aspect of your life.
00:57:14.000 --> 00:57:18.000
As you talk about that, remember August for us is Mom's Month.
00:57:18.000 --> 00:57:25.000
Moms, mothers, and parenting. And their parenting challenges in the new world that we have today, in our changing world.
00:57:25.000 --> 00:57:34.000
Because the world that we are all improving. One… Ending the disconnection, one of those. Ending frustration.
00:57:34.000 --> 00:57:43.000
Ending the prejudice through encouraging, inspiring, including others. We need that. Sean, thank you again. Thank you for bringing this message to all of us.
00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:44.000
It's been a pleasure. It's been an honor. So until next week.
00:57:44.000 --> 00:57:47.000
Thank you, I appreciate it.
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Life is truly what we make it. So let's make it awesome.
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Together