Episode 41: Alan Stevens

June 25, 2025

WATCH THIS EPISODE LIVE ON YOUTUBE

Guest: Alan Stevens

I'm considered to be a leading global authorities on reading people. However this wasn't always so. In fact in my earlier career my ability to read people was abysmal. Two divorces, far too many failed relationships to mention, and even business partners who emptied the bank. I eventually learned how to read people through an absolute necessity and now my passion is in helping other's succeed where I had failed

My business is one of building strong collaborations and teaching others to build ongoing relationships in all areas of our lives, and building a network of switched on professionals focussed on advocacy is a 'no brainer'.

If you focus on your clients first and your profits second, let's connect.

You may believe you give your clients great value and have a great business, but without first building strong relationships with your customers, clients, and staff you'll never get the opportunity to prove it, nor will your staff support you.

The survival and growth of your business depend on the trust you create through the relationships you build with your staff, suppliers, customer and clients.

I'll take you through a 3-step process where you'll:
1. Learn how to read people
2. Communicate how they want to be spoken to
3. Act when they are ready to buy
The same skills I used to help a client resurrect what was rapidly becoming a lost deal - to close it at $2 million. And helped another negotiate his way out of a $150k loss and turn it into a multimillion-dollar project

Through my 50+ years working in a myriad of industry, raising three young sons on my own, as a board member of several Not-For-Profit organisations and Community Groups, including Surf Life Saving, I've picked up a wealth of business and life experience. Taking that experience and knowledge I help people like yourself, build stronger relationships in all areas of their lives, whether that be in your business to increase conversion rates, sales revenue and improve negotiation skills, or in your personal relationships through to raising and teaching your children.

You'll find the skills you gain you'll apply to every part of your life. To see how much you can gain, check out https://www.alanstevens.com.au/success-stories/ and see how so many people have transformed their lives and that of those around them.

To find out more about me, pop over to https://www.alanstevens.com.au/about

Episode Transcript

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VA RENE: One.

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Mark Entrekin: Hello and welcome to another inspiring episode of the achieving unity, success formula.

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Mark Entrekin: It's our weekly podcast where we turn chaos, interconnection and purpose into action.

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Mark Entrekin: I am your host. I am Mark Intriken. And today's episode is about the is about a wonderful person

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Mark Entrekin: who has once struggled, as many of us have done.

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Mark Entrekin: My guest is now recognized as one of the world's leading authorities on reading people.

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Mark Entrekin: a skill mastered out of necessity and refined through experience for him.

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Mark Entrekin: If you believe in putting relationships and those closest to you 1st

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Mark Entrekin: and profit second, you'll find enlightenment in Alan's message and mission.

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Mark Entrekin: But first, st before we dive in, let me quickly introduce my company. Reality, focus dynamics where this all began.

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Mark Entrekin: So if you look at the screen of the page, my gift to you is the achieving Unity

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Mark Entrekin: guide. Now

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Mark Entrekin: it's for you to view and give me feedback, but it's about ending hate and anger and prejudice and disconnection and frustration

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Mark Entrekin: in that process of disconnecting with others. So I hope you'll get your copy. Get back with me. I'd love to talk with you more about it.

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Mark Entrekin: as you can see, there's a QR. Code on the left bottom left

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Mark Entrekin: for the guide QR. Code in the bottom right to my blog. I. Newsletter comes out on the 1st and 3rd Thursdays of each month.

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Mark Entrekin: Hope you read them log on, sign on to the newsletter and give me feedback.

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Mark Entrekin: This is our achieving unity, success, formula, weekly podcast, number 41. We've been going weekly since September of 2024. And we hope you put this on your calendar

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Mark Entrekin: would love to see here every week every Wednesday one Pm. Pacific. 4 pm. Eastern. Yes, I know it is the work. Hours for a lot of people in the Us.

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Mark Entrekin: But it's a situation where we can

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Mark Entrekin: come together. Talk it is live. You can ask questions. Come to us every week. Love to hear from you love to hear your messages and your questions.

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Mark Entrekin: Success focused solutions, as our logo shows. As you see our logo here.

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Mark Entrekin: It truly represents the heart of what I do.

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Mark Entrekin: Notice how focus sits right in the center in that green oval.

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Mark Entrekin: That's because everything that we explore from reality focused dynamics to success focus solution

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Mark Entrekin: revolves around clear and intentional direction.

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Mark Entrekin: In fact, that idea of focus is so central

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Mark Entrekin: to me, to us, it's even built right into our business phone number.

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Mark Entrekin: If you look 303-36-2873

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Mark Entrekin: spells, 3 0, 3 focused 3 0, 3 FOCU. SCD. On your phone pad.

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Mark Entrekin: I believe that by truly focusing on what matters, we can create meaningful change and achieve lasting unity.

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Mark Entrekin: So take that QR code on the left, or our website home

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Mark Entrekin: or the QR. Code on the right. If you want to contact me again, I'd love to hear from you. I love your questions, and there are no bonus question.

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Mark Entrekin: Please contact me.

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Mark Entrekin: We have proven compassionate strategies that turn conflict

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Mark Entrekin: into lasting harmony, and this is at home

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Mark Entrekin: at work, and in every relationship that matters.

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Mark Entrekin: Are you ever frustrated by tension or arguments?

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Mark Entrekin: Our seven-step roadmap gives you the tools to move from conflict to collaboration quickly and confidently.

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Mark Entrekin: Are you striving? Are you craving stronger trust, stronger connection.

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Mark Entrekin: discover communication, tactics that truly build respect respect for yourself.

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Mark Entrekin: respect for others, repair relationships and unified teams, professional and personal families alike.

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Mark Entrekin: We can transform conflict into connection together by achieving unity.

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Mark Entrekin: Unity inspires homes, families, it shapes society and it transforms workplaces.

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Mark Entrekin: We help you turn that frustration into understanding. Have you ever heard anybody say what the frustration

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Mark Entrekin: we can find value in our actions instead of reacting in that anger or frustration

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Mark Entrekin: we show that anger holds no value.

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Mark Entrekin: Anger is nothing more than actions not gaining effective results. Have you ever seen anyone that had anger, that you said, wow! I want to be like them.

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Mark Entrekin: Not usually.

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Mark Entrekin: Now, life does happen in every relationship, from personal to professional, from parenting time to partnerships in the boardroom.

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Mark Entrekin: in the bedroom, and every room in between.

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Mark Entrekin: We show you how to embrace those challenges and encourage a more inspired and inclusive future.

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Mark Entrekin: As you look more into my newsletters, go out to my blog, you'll see more about ei encouraging, inspiring, and including others.

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Mark Entrekin: One vision, one goal, achieving unity in every area of life.

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Mark Entrekin: What's our call to action? Ditch the drama. Let's get stuff done.

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Mark Entrekin: We will show you how to turn your lap of what may seem like a dumpster fire into a well-oiled machine.

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Mark Entrekin: Achieving unity is the path to stronger relationships.

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Mark Entrekin: Inspired leadership and lasting change.

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Mark Entrekin: Come, talk to me about coaching.

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Mark Entrekin: consulting courses and keynote addresses contact us today.

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Mark Entrekin: You can also reach me at realityfocusdynamics.com.

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Mark Entrekin: or, as we had discussed, 3 0 3 focused on on the telephone, and I'm in the United States. So it is a plus one. Or you can use that QR code the bottom of the screen.

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Mark Entrekin: Let me know. Contact me. I'm looking forward to talking with you

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Mark Entrekin: when I talk about courses. This is what it's about

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Mark Entrekin: 7 steps to achieving unity, success, formula, living life fully through present moment awareness.

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Mark Entrekin: assuming unity does not just solve problems. It builds bridges to the possibilities of today and tomorrow.

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Mark Entrekin: We talked about Ei.

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Mark Entrekin: It encourages every person's growth by replacing criticism with compassion, inspiring change through hope, not pressure.

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Mark Entrekin: Every step forward matters, it includes every voice, so no one feels unseen, unheard, or unworthy

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Mark Entrekin: when we replace disconnection with empathy

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Mark Entrekin: and replace frustration with understanding. We create a space for trust, for collaboration and shared success.

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Mark Entrekin: This is how we thrive together achieving unity.

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Mark Entrekin: And our podcasts, again, are every week.

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Mark Entrekin: This week we're at the end of our June, which is tributing to fathers and dads and parenting today, and how to be better with our parent, with our relationships

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Mark Entrekin: with our children.

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Mark Entrekin: and especially for fathers, the fathers and dads this month. We want to focus on, because it is the month of father's day.

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Mark Entrekin: And we're lucky to have Alan here today to talk about how we can converse more.

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Mark Entrekin: but starting next week, it is the Wednesday before. In the United States we have our Independence Day holiday.

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Mark Entrekin: and Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman will be here talking about the price of freedom.

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Mark Entrekin: honoring that cost of independence and what we fought for to get our independence we have today.

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Mark Entrekin: Next week. I don't have her

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Mark Entrekin: confirmed just yet, but we'll talk about the focus on us. Independence.

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Mark Entrekin: and how many of us, including yourself.

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Mark Entrekin: are so valuable in the independence and the freedoms that we have today.

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Mark Entrekin: Well, please come back next week on July second, the following week, on July 9.th Come, talk to us.

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Mark Entrekin: then, on July 16.th Vicky Maizell will be here championing memory enhancements.

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Mark Entrekin: Memory is not something that we gain or lose. We all have the memory. But where's our mind going. Where's our mind when we want to remember something?

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Mark Entrekin: Let's put it in order. Let's let Vicki help us out with that.

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Mark Entrekin: The following week Dr. Ali Lankarani. We call him Dr. L.

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Mark Entrekin: We'll talk about the 4 keys to optimizing your brain's potential.

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Mark Entrekin: Wouldn't that be better if we could optimize the many thoughts that we have.

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Mark Entrekin: I know we have the add, the attention, deficit disorder, the Adhd attention, deficit, hyperactivity, disorder.

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Mark Entrekin: What about those of us that have that could better optimize our brain potential.

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Mark Entrekin: I'm going to be listening and asking questions next, on July 23rd to Dr. L. To help with that.

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Mark Entrekin: And then on the last Wednesday in July, July 30.th

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Mark Entrekin: Tiffany Kellogg is going to be here about. Knock your socks off.

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Mark Entrekin: Let's talk about moms without children. She's going to start our process of helping with moms and parenting and

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Mark Entrekin: the right things to do at the right time. So please join us. That's our next 5 weeks. We have a very special podcast. Today. We've got more coming. Please put us on your calendar, looking forward to seeing you next week, too.

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Mark Entrekin: But today we are so lucky, it's a friend. I've talked to him several times.

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Mark Entrekin: It's a wonder what he does. And him and I are going to work together more after today's. Podcast

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Mark Entrekin: but it's about unlocking human behavior for greater impact.

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Mark Entrekin: I wish you could impact someone a little bit better.

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Mark Entrekin: Do you wish you could understand what they're saying and how they're talking to you a little bit better.

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Mark Entrekin: Alan Stevens is a globally recognized expert in human behavior and communication

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Mark Entrekin: as the creator of the human pattern. Recognition, profiling system.

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Mark Entrekin: and founder of the Campfire project, Alan empowers individuals and organizations to connect authentically

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Mark Entrekin: communicate effectively and foster inclusions. We are right in track. We're right in parallel about what we do.

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Mark Entrekin: His groundbreaking work helps people unlock their potential through deeper understanding and empathy.

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Mark Entrekin: join Alan to discover powerful insights and practical tools that inspire lasting personal and professional grow.

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Mark Entrekin: His insights have transformed leaders.

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Mark Entrekin: teams, and families world around the world. The world's not just wide. Its world goes round and round. So that's big.

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Mark Entrekin: Be making him a trusted authority

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Mark Entrekin: for those seeking deeper understanding. And again, that lasting impact, something that goes with us. Once we leave where we are, it goes with us through that impact.

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Mark Entrekin: Get ready to transform how you relate.

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Mark Entrekin: lead, and succeed with Alan's unique approach to connection. You see his website on the right, I'll repeat it again at the end of our

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Mark Entrekin: podcast today. That's alanstevens.com.au forward! Slash about!

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Mark Entrekin: Please help me welcome, Alan Stevens.

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Mark Entrekin: Hey, Alan, how are you today?

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Alan Stevens: Pretty good, Mark. I hope you're doing well as well.

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Mark Entrekin: I am. Thank you so much. It is so much of an honor to have you here.

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Mark Entrekin: It's just truly wonderful to have you with us, and thank you for your time.

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Alan Stevens: My pleasure.

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Mark Entrekin: Can we start with a short introduction about yourself?

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Mark Entrekin: What help guide you, what you're doing and where you are today.

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Alan Stevens: As you said, I'm a profiling and communication specialist. What that means that my whole focus is in helping people to be able to read each other, to recognize each other's personalities, know how to talk to me in the way that they need to be spoken to.

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Alan Stevens: and in that being able to improve relationships with regardless of who it's with and in all areas of their life.

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Alan Stevens: And it's for the 1st 50 years of my life I struggled at making relationships. But I'm in my seventies now. So for more than 2 decades I've had the pleasure of helping other people build their relationships which have built mine immensely as well.

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Mark Entrekin: That's amazing. And like you say you, we've all had some struggles.

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Mark Entrekin: but we've pulled those struggles together to create some solutions right.

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Alan Stevens: That's right. So when it comes down to it, everybody has struggled. Everybody is, you know, feeling insecure. We all wear a mask.

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Alan Stevens: We all pretend we're not wearing a mask, but we're also the combination of all our childhood rewards and sufferings. In other words, we are a combination of how we've chosen to respond to all the events in our life.

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Alan Stevens: So we're all got issues of one form or another. And once we realize that

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Alan Stevens: there's a connection with everybody else. There's a way of actually connecting with other people with it and breaking down paradigms. Or, you know, misguided belief systems around different people.

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Mark Entrekin: That's so true. Ellen and I like what you just talked about. We all have a mask.

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Mark Entrekin: but we don't want to admit it.

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Mark Entrekin: And sometimes that mass brings us to. Well, let me ask you what it what came to my mind

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Mark Entrekin: is that mask, and sometimes be our culture.

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Mark Entrekin: maybe our learning, and that mass that we put on is something that we know or think we know.

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Mark Entrekin: But it may not be totally true. Right.

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Alan Stevens: That's exactly right. So one of the things that I like to do is to talk to people from all over the world. That's where the Campfire project came from, as well to be able to listen to people to understand, not listen to, to respond to their conversation, so, understanding where they're coming from, and the more I could do that, the more I could understand the similarities we have 1st of all.

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Alan Stevens: and then I could really appreciate the differences, instead of just feeling that they're different to me and finding a struggle in that. That's 1 of the reasons we have so many problems around the world today.

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Alan Stevens: But if you sit and you listen to people, you'll find that everybody's basically good.

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Alan Stevens: There's only a small percentage of the population. Who are, you know. As I say, it's about 1% of the population that fit into the psychopath profile. They're wired that way.

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Alan Stevens: If you look at sociopaths, they were developed. It's their environment that brought them to that level. So if we were able to connect better all the way through from early childhood, we'd have a lot less problems, have a lot more stable people.

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Alan Stevens: But recognizing that we do wear a mask, and that there's always something there that we might, as you say, culturally or whatever. Once we realize that everybody's in the same boat to some degree differently, but in the same boat, that we can then put that aside, because in that difference is where our strengths are.

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Mark Entrekin: I love that that's so true. And and as you, as you talk about that from your position.

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Mark Entrekin: you're known for reading people. So as you talk about that, and a little bit for myself and for our audience.

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Mark Entrekin: and especially the parents inspiring dads out there.

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Mark Entrekin: How would you describe what a profiler does in a way that helps us understand better that

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Mark Entrekin: the little humans and big humans

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Mark Entrekin: that may be in our lives.

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Alan Stevens: We'll see if I can see somebody's face, even a photograph. I've got their personality.

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Alan Stevens: If I've got their personality, I know where they are on the world scale, or how they where they fit. Compared to me. I know how to change the way I like to be spoken to, to match the way that they need to be spoken to.

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Alan Stevens: And so and, by the way.

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Alan Stevens: I I will point out a couple of things in a moment. But

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Alan Stevens: Every everyone's got different facial features, and we've got different personalities, and every personality has upsides and downsides, upsides where our strengths are

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Alan Stevens: downsides, how we get triggered when we're put in in distress.

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Alan Stevens: Now, the more that we can understand our downside about traits, the more empowered we become because we know what environments to stay away from.

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Alan Stevens: If I can see looking at your face. And, by the way, there's no right or wrong trait. Every trait we have, as I said, has an upside and a downside

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Alan Stevens: the. It's a situation. So if I look at somebody and I profile, it's always done with respect.

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Alan Stevens: So I know that talking to yourself, for instance, you're going to need all the information before you make a decision, but once you've made your decision, it says, give me the best way to do it. Get the hell out of the way, and let me get on with it.

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Alan Stevens: But I also know you've got a dry wit. So if we're having a conversation, I don't have to be worried about being too politically correct. I know that if anything I throw at you, you're more likely, instead of taking it personally, you're likely to throw it back at me

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Alan Stevens: and for me having a dry winter as well, we can have a wonderful banter.

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Alan Stevens: So by having looking at your face, I know how you like to take information in how you like to process it. I know how you like to think, not what you're thinking, but how you like to think, and from that I then know how to talk to you in the way that I can then connect with you, and then, because I can watch your body, language, and expressions on your face.

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Alan Stevens: I know whether I've read you right. Is there something emotionally going on? And are you telling the truth? But I don't use that last bit as a lie detector. I use it as a truth, seeker.

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Alan Stevens: because if you're not telling me the truth, it's a case. Well, why not? Is there something emotionally going on? Is there something that that's got your mind elsewhere, and if I can read that, and then my whole focus is to build a relationship.

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Alan Stevens: If I'm doing a sale with you at that time I'll put the sale aside and then get into a conversation and see if I can help you through, and understand 1st of all, what is you're going through, and then how I might be able to help you, because that will build our bond stronger, and I guarantee that you'll come back to me later on to talk about that product or service I was talking about originally, because, as you see, I can see all through your documentations about trust.

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Alan Stevens: It's about that connection.

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Mark Entrekin: And 2 things there. Excuse me because you were you were describing me so well. I'm sorry I choked up just so. I was sitting here listening to you.

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Mark Entrekin: you choked up by what you said.

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Mark Entrekin: But I'm also very impressed by what you said about connection.

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Mark Entrekin: because that is so true, because by that knowledge, by that just that little bit of understanding.

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Mark Entrekin: and we all have it, as you mentioned, some little bit of good, some little bit of bad, but it's still us.

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Mark Entrekin: But that connection, that coming together, that unity is so important when we look at other people.

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Mark Entrekin: And isn't that what I'm hearing you say.

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Alan Stevens: That's it. See, we make the mistake of thinking that.

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Alan Stevens: Well, we hang around people who are like us, and so we want to be seen to be like them.

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Alan Stevens: But when it comes to building teams it's the differences in people that help us to create a great team.

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Alan Stevens: And this is what people don't realize. I look for the differences, and I enjoy the differences that other people bring to the table. I don't need to try and impress them anymore. I just need to be me, because it's the only person I can be.

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Alan Stevens: And so and.

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Mark Entrekin: And everyone else has taken right.

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Alan Stevens: Exactly.

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Alan Stevens: You know a lot of people. Yeah, if they get to know me, they might go. Yeah, I want to be my themselves, and that not me. So that's correct.

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Mark Entrekin: Me too well again. I'm still just.

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Mark Entrekin: It impresses me to talk with you, and and in your intelligence

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Mark Entrekin: from an expertise that people don't think about a lot of times, and that is that human pattern recognition. And if we just think about a second, it sounds almost like a superpower.

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Mark Entrekin: And we think about it, especially when we're dealing with a maybe a tantruming toddler or a silent teenager.

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Mark Entrekin: How can how can I? How can our listeners

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Mark Entrekin: start tapping into this idea that you're sharing to help kind of decode. Some of our families signals.

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Alan Stevens: Well, just before I jump into that, as you as we look at the you know, for being a profiler. Everybody listening to this.

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Alan Stevens: when they were very young, were expert profilers.

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Alan Stevens: They needed to be able to recognize faces, to know who was family, who they should be around, etc. They needed to pick up the emotions, the energy, etc. The expressions on people's faces, the body language.

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Alan Stevens: But when we get older we just get involved in all the other things of life, you know, going to school hobbies, sports and things, and we just lose that skill. We misplace it. We don't actually lose it. So all I do is these days is I'm a personal trainer. I hope people get that muscle back that they had when they were young. So your children are reading you all the time.

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Alan Stevens: So being aware, 1st of all, of our own what we're putting out, you know, if we've raised our voice, etc, what impact that has as well.

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Alan Stevens: But if we're able to read our children, we know straight away how they like to take information in.

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Alan Stevens: So if you've got a child who just likes the least amount of information.

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Alan Stevens: and in your case, as I said, you're analytical, you need more information to make a decision.

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Alan Stevens: If you're trying to explain something to them, you've got to be careful that you're not giving them. You'd be giving them the information that you would need to make that decision or get that message.

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Alan Stevens: but they then think that you're nagging them.

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Alan Stevens: because there's far too much. They've already got it in the early stages, but you keep talking. It's the same as in sales. You talk yourself out of the sale virtually, and that's what she's doing with the young child.

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Alan Stevens: So, understanding the way they take information and talking directly to that.

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Alan Stevens: you'll make a connection straight away.

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Alan Stevens: But it's also

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Alan Stevens: spending, you know, if I'm talking to a child and trying to get a message across. I'm going to make sure that I'm sitting there facing them in some way, not turning away, not raising my voice.

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Alan Stevens: and I just slow down for that moment, because people might say, Oh, well, if I slow down, I really want to get this sorted out. Well, if you take that time you'll get it sorted out faster.

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Mark Entrekin: That's some interesting that you talk about, because one of the things that I like to and

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Mark Entrekin: excuse me, I have little posters up here on my wall, and then, they say.

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Mark Entrekin: always smile 1st as you respond with a positive question.

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Mark Entrekin: was that a question or statement, and using clar questions for clarity. So when I'm talking to people.

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Mark Entrekin: that's what I like to do in for kids, it's just to me it's been especially beneficial.

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Alan Stevens: Turn around instead of telling them.

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Mark Entrekin: What to do, acting, asking them how they would do it.

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Mark Entrekin: and maybe tossing out that idea

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Mark Entrekin: so it becomes their idea and their ownership. Is that something that you

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Mark Entrekin: see in your line of work.

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Alan Stevens: Well, very much so in all areas of life, as well as I say in business and in personal life.

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Alan Stevens: when you're talking to people. If you talk at them. Yeah, you mess. You're trying to get your message across.

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Alan Stevens: depending on how they take information. They'll switch off, or whatever. But it comes across that you're not really in a conversation, because well, if you just bring it back to sales, for instance, how many times when you've been trying to sell something to somebody they've said yes, yes, all the way through, and then, after follow up, you get crickets. They disappear

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Alan Stevens: because they just gave you that counterfeit. Yes, they just wanted you to stop talking. Move on.

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Alan Stevens: So the end result. We've got to confirm it. You know you've got 2 eyes, 2 ears and one mouth, you use them in that proportion. So when I'm talking to people, I will ask every possible question I can think of

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Alan Stevens: at at that point. There's also one more question that you need to ask.

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Alan Stevens: and it's pretty simple, and that is for what you've told me. This is what I understand. Have I got it right?

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Alan Stevens: Because once you get to that point, now you're into a conversation. If the person says yes, they know you've been listening. There's trust. Everything else is set up. If they say no, that can even be more positive. Because now you go. Okay. Well, what did I get wrong. And now they're actually talking to you far more now. And you're into a conversation much deeper. So at that point, they really know that you're focused on. You're spending this extra time to make sure you got it right.

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Alan Stevens: And you've got that connection straight away. So you've got trust.

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Alan Stevens: This is what's important

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Alan Stevens: is getting that trust in the early stage, and showing that person that you and it's not about faking it. You know this old saying, you fake it till you make it is ridiculous.

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Mark Entrekin: You're the.

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Alan Stevens: It's a case of well in in character actors, and that they act the part. Out they go and learn it, and everything. They act as if

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Alan Stevens: that's when you're already there.

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Alan Stevens: and if you're faking it till you make it, you never get there, because, you know you're a fake, and you give that impression across to other people as well.

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Alan Stevens: So it's being genuine. But you're taking that time to get that information and asking those questions, getting that feedback and building that rapport from there, because then you're actually deciding with them in unison how to move forward.

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Alan Stevens: And the worst part that's right.

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Mark Entrekin: I so agree with you on that, too, Alan, because

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Mark Entrekin: there's many people who want to believe in you. And as you mentioned earlier, there are a lot of good people out there, and even if you're pulling that.

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Mark Entrekin: break it till you make it.

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Mark Entrekin: there are a lot of people that are actually pulling for you that maybe you're not faking it. Maybe you are going to come true.

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Mark Entrekin: but sooner or later everyone's going to find out.

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Alan Stevens: Sooner or later they're gonna realize that you weren't us.

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Mark Entrekin: Baking it.

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Alan Stevens: Hmm.

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Mark Entrekin: And you probably haven't made it.

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Mark Entrekin: Sometimes we're lucky, but sometimes we'll be lucky anyway.

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Alan Stevens: I had a really weird experience. One day I was walking down the street, and this guy went past me. I knew his wife quite, quite well, and he had been a good friend of another friend of mine, and he just stopped, and he walked up to me, and he said just wanted to point something out to you. I said, What's that? He said. I never liked you.

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Alan Stevens: I just walked down with it. What? He said, yeah, I used to hear you talking to Ian, and and I thought it was all rubbish, and I really didn't like you. But, he said, I've been watching you for the last decade. That was how long it was, he said. The last decade, and you're consistent. You never change.

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Alan Stevens: And we sat down, had a coffee and became good friends.

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Alan Stevens: So it's quite weird about, you know. People will think because everybody is wearing that mask. They therefore suspect everybody else is wearing that mask, and they treat them that way.

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Alan Stevens: But if you're consistent, sooner or later people will pick it up.

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Alan Stevens: Now they're going to realize that you're not faking it. This is who you are.

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Mark Entrekin: And they find the value in that, because there's a lot of value in being.

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Alan Stevens: That's it.

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Mark Entrekin: Who you are in your life, and if I can touch on that, I'm glad you brought that up, because.

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Mark Entrekin: or even for situations like that in your own journey, Alan.

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Mark Entrekin: moving from as you talked about tough personal relationships

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Mark Entrekin: to mastering that human connection, it's incredibly and I do mean incredibly powerful

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Mark Entrekin: now as a dad who raised you know what 3 sons I think.

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Alan Stevens: Yep.

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Mark Entrekin: You raise and you raise them on your own.

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Mark Entrekin: What was that? Maybe there was a maybe an Aha moment

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Mark Entrekin: when you realize that these insights that you're talking about were absolutely essential

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Mark Entrekin: for a good family life. Did you have a time

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Mark Entrekin: like that? Did you find that coming about raising 3 boys.

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Alan Stevens: I'm a bit on the slow side when it came to realizing things. It's like I've always said to God, just give me a neon sign make it obvious as possible, and that so I can get it. But no, my 1st wife decided she wanted to go and find herself, so we had a very short conversation. I gave her the sports car so she could get there faster, as I jokingly say, and I was lucky enough to keep the 3 boys. They were 4, 11, and 12 at the time.

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Alan Stevens: and that was another thing, because, you know, I was lost as a father to start with. Like most men, our children are born, and then we feel that we're surplus to needs. We don't know what our role is, and that's 1 of the things that you know, helping men to realize that they've got a massive role, and they'll always have a massive role, even through the grandparent stage.

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Alan Stevens: They'll just say

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Alan Stevens: our needs, or what we people need from us, will change our roles will change over that time.

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Alan Stevens: But it wasn't until I went through my second divorce, and it was only a short marriage, and my youngest boy had moved back to his mother's place at the time, and he was about 12 when I 1st got married, and he was about 16 when we broke up. And at that point that was when I realized I definitely had to find better ways of reading people.

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Alan Stevens: But my second wife had talked me into being a massage therapist, and she was a used to teach Aromatherapy.

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Alan Stevens: but when we split up. I put that on hold, and a couple of friends taught me into giving them a massage. Then they taught me into opening my rooms up again, and I started getting terminally ill patients coming to me, and some of them were actually reversing their conditions for me. That was bizarre, and through some chance meetings I met an aboriginal group, got invited out bush, and went through going out every weekend to understand their culture, to understand what was happening in my world.

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Alan Stevens: and at the age of around my 50th birthday I went through initiation. So from boyhood to manhood, so that was one of the big turning points in my life. So it was instigated by all the events through my life up to that point really impacted when my second wife wanted to divorce and just move on, and at the same time with the aboriginal side of things. I started looking at things differently.

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Alan Stevens: And that's when my material world

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Alan Stevens: started to connect with a spiritual world. And that's why I started to understand. You can't have one without the other if you want to have a happy life.

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Alan Stevens: And so that's where it all started for me. And then I was working with a company that taught currency trading. They brought me in because none of their students made any money.

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Alan Stevens: And we use profiling techniques like Disk Myers, Briggs, and other programs. But when they went live they didn't match their personalities. We realized people were trying to second guess by answering the questions in a particular way.

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Alan Stevens: I need a better way of reading people, and somebody said to me one day you ever looked at reading faces

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Alan Stevens: so around that 50th birthday leading up to it. And then, after it, this is where it all changed for me, and that's when my connection, my youngest boy, when he was 16, decided he wanted to follow me through initiation. So 2 generations of white fellas who went through tribal initiation. And since then I've been involved in helping taking boys out and helping them to take them through from boyhood into manhood.

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Alan Stevens: So wow questions.

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Alan Stevens: It's just been event after event. If I sat there and talked about all the different things I've done in my life.

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Alan Stevens: I think, yeah, when I read it myself. I think this guy's got to be full of himself. Yeah, he's not telling the truth. He's making this stuff up.

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Alan Stevens: But when you stop and have a look at the things in your life. There's a lot of little turning points. We think a lot of people tell me I was this major turning point, but when they're talking about it I can see little turning points turning up to it, and more turning points after it as well.

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Alan Stevens: So it's never just one real thing that affects us. We might think it is, but there's usually other things around it, and that was what it was for me.

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Mark Entrekin: Amazing. And it's it very interesting story. And

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Mark Entrekin: one of the things that I listened to what you're talking about.

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Mark Entrekin: And it's even with our my achieving unity, success, formula.

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Mark Entrekin: We know that trust is everything, and ability to to trust and

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Mark Entrekin: helping some of our audiences. I look at this. And

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Mark Entrekin: how does truly learning to read people

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Mark Entrekin: are there ways that it can directly help dads and parents build that maybe unbreakable trust

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Mark Entrekin: and loyalty within their own homes by that reading, reading each other

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Mark Entrekin: and understanding each other, to create that loyalty in that relationship.

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Alan Stevens: Absolutely see. The thing is that with life today, you know, both parties working all the demands, prices going up and everything else. Our focus is on survival.

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Alan Stevens: And so we think that we're connected with our children. But if we stop and we have a look, we'll probably find out that we're not that really that connected.

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Alan Stevens: But when you're reading somebody, you're focusing on them.

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Alan Stevens: You're not focusing on yourself, and that just just that shifting of focus. The other person will pick it up because we're all energy beings. We all pick up emotions, and everything goes like, how many times have you or your audience been listening to somebody, and everything sounded fine. But you had that gut feeling something wasn't right.

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Alan Stevens: We're picking up nonverbals all the time. That's why I said that we may have had a school when we're very young and we've misplaced it. We just don't recognize it until we start focusing back on it again. As I said, I'm a personal trainer when it comes to that. So by being able to be focused on the other person, the connection is going to be noticed by them.

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Alan Stevens: They're going to recognize that. And there's half of them shift all all of a sudden because they're going. Things are different. What's going on here.

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Alan Stevens: and we always want to know answers.

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Alan Stevens: so they'll start looking for that as well. And just in that we can reconnect. But if you know your partner's traits for a startup.

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Alan Stevens: Then you know how to talk to them in the way that they need to be spoken to.

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Alan Stevens: Both you and I use what I call aesthetic appreciation. It's about how things feel inside. We have other people who have what they call dramatic appreciation. They need to express things outwardly they're great on stage, and everything goes.

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Alan Stevens: you and I. If we're working on something and they're stressed with it, we'll pull back to our cave. Just leave us alone. I want to go and fix this. Now the other party who's got that dramatic appreciation? They need to know what's going on. So they're going like this asking us what's going on. And we're just moving away to our cave.

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Alan Stevens: That causes a problem. Because now I saw it on Facebook, there was a little thing about this woman's looking at her husband and going. I'm worried about him. He's gone quiet. And all this, and it starts off with all this care and everything else. By the time she's worked through it she thinks he's he's having an affair, and she hates him, and he wants to murder him.

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Alan Stevens: And so that's the problem when you don't communicate.

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Alan Stevens: So, being able to communicate with a person in that particular within within the way their traits are telling us, we can solve that.

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Alan Stevens: So in the case of where, if you know that the partner really needs to know, you can say, Look, this is something I need to work on on my own. Don't worry. It's got nothing to do with you. It's nothing you can help me with. This is just something I need to work on.

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Alan Stevens: and I'll come and talk to you as soon as by telling them I'll come and talk to you afterwards. They know that. Yes, you are serious. You need to work on this in your own. You're not just pushing them out.

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Alan Stevens: We don't think about well, how do I actually make this? So the other person understands.

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Alan Stevens: So it matches what they need to know.

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Alan Stevens: And so by doing that, we've got that. So if I'm working with a couple, and they've got a young child quite often. The parents usually come to me about the child. How do I connect with the child better. So I show them both how, because they're different personalities. They talk differently to the or they change differently. I should say so. They talk to the child the same way. So the child gets consistency from both parents, because every child needs boundaries.

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Alan Stevens: If they don't have boundaries, they don't know where to go. So the best thing we can do is give not barriers, but boundaries. Give them boundaries, so that they know what got with how we guide them through those, but then, by talking to the child the same way, we then realize that our partners are talking differently, or they change differently to us to talk the same way.

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Alan Stevens: We then talk to them in the way that they need to be spoken to. And now you got that connection between the parents as well. But the more the parents can talk to the child in the same manner. So the child knows. Mom and Dad are on the same page.

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Alan Stevens: Here's 1 of the boundaries. This is what they've set up now. They have comfort because they know what they can do and what they can't do.

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Alan Stevens: And this is where it all comes together. The more you focus on the other person, the more you're going to get those results focusing on the connection, not so much fixing the problem.

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Mark Entrekin: Right and not focus on that connection. As you're saying, not focus on the other person themselves.

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Mark Entrekin: you'll make sure you focus on that connection between the 2 right.

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Alan Stevens: Yeah, by not understanding the person's personality, then we make that connection.

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Mark Entrekin: There we go!

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Alan Stevens: My intention is always to help the other person to have a better life.

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Alan Stevens: and if I'm really focused on that, you'll always make the connection.

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Mark Entrekin: And that's that's what's actually about a relationship. And I think it's kind of funny as you're talking about.

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Mark Entrekin: We want to be.

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Mark Entrekin: Thank you for us. Go into our cave and work on it.

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Mark Entrekin: But let me ask, because when I hear somebody say working, it's almost like saying trying.

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Mark Entrekin: there's got somewhere. There's got to be a completion point when you're trying to do something.

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Mark Entrekin: There's a percentage complete at the end of your try. When you say you're trying to call somebody. What do you mean? You're trying to call somebody. Did you pick up the phone? Did you start dialing a number? What do you mean you're trying to call somebody? You're trying to fix something.

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Mark Entrekin: Are you working on something?

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Mark Entrekin: If you're working on it? Isn't there a percentage complete that goes along with that working or that

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Mark Entrekin: even trying.

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Alan Stevens: I don't know whether we can put a percentage on something, because we if we know where we started, we don't know where the completed. What the total possibility is. It's hard to put a percentage on that. But if we're always striving to improve.

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Alan Stevens: that's the way I look at things, how can I be a better man every day?

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Alan Stevens: How can I be better than what I was yesterday? Not competing with anybody else?

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Alan Stevens: Because I can't compete with other people, because we've all got different lives. We've all got different experiences.

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Mark Entrekin: Different directions.

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Alan Stevens: Myself. And so, okay, this is where I've what I've achieved so far. How can I be better? And again.

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Alan Stevens: it's 1 of the reasons why I picked up one of the sayings from one of the coaches over there at Ucla. What's his name? John Witten, who said the most important thing you'll ever learn is the next thing you learn after you think you know everything

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Alan Stevens: as I'm in my seventies now, and I'm already looking at more collaborations and more ways of looking at more research.

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Alan Stevens: I'll be learning until the the day that I die.

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Alan Stevens: Well, actually.

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Mark Entrekin: I love learning.

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Alan Stevens: Friends say to me when they put the lid on the coffin, you'll be asking them questions as to what they're going, how they're going to put the screws in and hold the the lid on properly, and all the rest of it probably right.

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Mark Entrekin: They're probably right. That is true.

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Mark Entrekin: and I work with people, especially my coaching part of it, and they say I don't see the light at the end of the tunnel?

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Mark Entrekin: Or are you going through the tunnel? Are you? Are you moving forward because you'll never see the light

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Mark Entrekin: or reach the light. If you're not growing forward, if you're not doing something

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Mark Entrekin: to make progress in the smallest of steps is great.

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Mark Entrekin: what are we going to do to emphasizing, especially like what you're doing, that communication on

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Mark Entrekin: how we can speak to others.

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Mark Entrekin: how we want to be spoken to.

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Mark Entrekin: How do you see

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Mark Entrekin: that growth going forward. How do you see? Someone? Don't ask, not asking friends what they should do? What do you think about this? We think about that. But again. It's your tunnel. It's my tunnel.

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Mark Entrekin: I need to be looking at my light at the end of the tunnel pit, saying, it's there.

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Mark Entrekin: How do you help people in that

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Mark Entrekin: communicating of how they want to be spoken to, or speaking to other. How do you work with them in those situations.

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Alan Stevens: There's an old saying that it's hard to remember that your initial goal was to drain the swamp when you got alligators biting at your backside.

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Alan Stevens: and that's where most people go through life. They're looking at those looking around for alligators. All the things is why they can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

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Alan Stevens: and those that can. Well, they've got to make sure it's not a train coming at them. But what it comes down to is that by focusing on well, you've really got to know what it is you want to create.

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Alan Stevens: And there'll be a lot of things through life. And with the kids it might be okay. I want to have that bond with my children. I will never be my son's best friend. I'm their father, because best friends will tell you that. Yep, we're doing the wrong thing. They're okay. No, I won't. If they're doing the wrong thing, they're going to get told that so my sons knew that I would never be their friend, but I'd be their father, which was far more important and far more special to them.

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Alan Stevens: and in that, having that focus, then I was able to understand, look at what I want to create with them what I want to create in business.

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Alan Stevens: Where did I want to take this? What's my target? Well, as I said before, my target to in my business is to create and train my competition, because my target is we had need more people out there doing what I'm doing, and therefore I've got a moral obligation to train that. So to do that. So in doing that I can then look well. I know what my target is, and the more I've I actually own that target.

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Alan Stevens: the less I notice other things.

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Alan Stevens: And so those things that you know would distract me because most of the time those alligators in the swamp are really tadpoles.

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Alan Stevens: They're not what we think they are. We worry about it and everything else. So by really understanding, I'll sit down and go find out from the father, for instance.

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Alan Stevens: is this what they really, what's the relationship they want with this on? Is this something they really want? Why do they want it?

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Alan Stevens: And for them to actually explain to me, in a way in which they've they've taken total ownership of it. This is absolutely what's most essential to me.

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Alan Stevens: The same with the their partners. How do I connect with? Because the end of the day we need to have that strong bond with our partner, even if it's the next partner.

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Alan Stevens: because we need to co-parent the children. We need to be on the same page. We don't have to be living in the same house, but we need to be putting our kids first, st

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Alan Stevens: because I know a lot of absolutely

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Alan Stevens: out there are fighting with each other. They're running each other down. The thing to remember is that when you run your ex down in front of your kids, you're telling the kids that half of them is no good. And so you've got to be careful about how you do that. So that was one of the things, even though my 1st wife left, I set out to co-parent with her, get her to come back in and spend time with the boys, because that was absolutely necessary for them to be able to respect women. They had to respect their mother.

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Alan Stevens: And it's the same thing for the.

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Alan Stevens: And we know that boys today. Well, I think the Stats has shown that about 80% of the most horrific crimes against women perpetrated by males were perpetrated by males who didn't have a father.

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Alan Stevens: So the role of a father, you know a lot of men think they're surplus and needs when the baby is born. Their role is extremely important through their for their daughters

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Alan Stevens: to be that role model. But they're going to gauge what sort of a man they're going to find in their own life what they can expect from a man. And if Dad set the bar pretty high through the genuine man caring and all the rest of it. That's the best way he can protect his daughter because his daughters are going to set standards pretty high for those other guys to measure up to

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Alan Stevens: at the same time to his son. He's his 1st hero.

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Alan Stevens: and that's why I was lucky. I brought a lot of good men around me, and they were also like uncles to my sons, and my sons learned from all of them. So I've got 3 sons that I often say, and jokingly say, that's chalk and cheese, and I'm still trying to figure out number 3, but they're all men in their own right, completely different to each other.

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Alan Stevens: And I talk to each of them differently, because based on their personality styles, and how they need to and want to be treated.

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Alan Stevens: I like what you're saying.

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Mark Entrekin: Oh, yeah, I like what you're saying. That makes a lot of sense. And, as you say, when people talk about keep your children 1st we're talking about children, because while they're growing up and there is no magical age, sometimes it's 18, sometimes it's 21, sometimes it may be 16,

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Mark Entrekin: but we work on training our children when they're younger.

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Mark Entrekin: But as they reach that 21 year old, 24 year old, they start having children.

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Mark Entrekin: We also need to work with our. Let me ask, this is one of the things that I believe in. You also have to work with your children with taking care of themselves.

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Mark Entrekin: and relieve some of that dependency that they had of the parents. Do you agree? How do you work with that?

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Alan Stevens: Well as a grandfather. If you look at tribal times, for instance, everything was in 7 year cycles. The 1st 7 years the boys and the girls were all with mum. Excuse me, they couldn't go out hunting and things like that, and make too much noise. They were too small for that. So that would be with Mom. And that's why mums are always so important to do that nurturing.

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Alan Stevens: From the age of 7 the girls would go off to the aunties of the tribe from their 7 to 14, and that's where they'd learn start learning things, and from the age of 7, from 14 to 21, they'd go to the wise women to find out what they need to be, to learn to become a mother, because at the age of 21. That's when they're usually impregnated became pregnant.

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Alan Stevens: whereas the boys, the 1st 7 years were with mum. The second 7 years were with granddad and dad, but they spent more time with granddad because granddad wasn't fit enough to go hunting anymore. So his role was extremely important. He was guiding the son, his grandson through to that stage where he's getting ready for his rites of passage. Dad was spending more time with him as well, and at the same time, at the age of 14. He would then go to the other men.

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Alan Stevens: and that's when he would look at all the other men. Take a bit from each one is why we always said, you've got to have good men around you.

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Alan Stevens: and in doing that the boys will look at them. Take a little bit of their personalities and create their own identity.

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Alan Stevens: And once they've done that from the age of 21 to 28, now they're learning from the wiser men of the tribe how it is to be a father. So by the time their children or their sons are 7 years old, and they take that responsibility on. They're now 28.

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Alan Stevens: This is the way. By the way, this is why boys have to mature slower than girls.

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Alan Stevens: because if we matured at the same rate. There'd be 7 years where we're sitting idle. And what happens when we're sitting idle? That's when all the problems happen. So boys have to mature slower.

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Alan Stevens: But so, boys, as they get into their teens, they're going to be like bucks in the in the bush. They're trying to jockey for position. Who's the alpha male, etcetera.

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Alan Stevens: They're going to be noisy. They're going to be rowdy and everything else. This is why you need the good men around. They need to go through that stage to recognize where they fit in. But then the wiser men will turn around and go. Okay. Now you've worked that out.

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Alan Stevens: Now you need to behave in this particular way.

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Alan Stevens: and when there's a lack of men around, this is why boys go off the off the rails.

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Mark Entrekin: And I can see that. And like you're saying, that's when they're doing that. That Alpha Page apple phase as you as you mentioned, and as you talk about, and I'm glad you mentioned that with the tribes, because I wanted to touch just quickly. We've got about 10 min left.

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Mark Entrekin: You founded that have the hashtag week together and the Campfire project, and it

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Mark Entrekin: I see it fosters the connection and that support.

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Mark Entrekin: How do these initiatives and that spirit behind them

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Mark Entrekin: offer a valuable blueprint for dads and families. Today

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Mark Entrekin: they're looking to build a stronger, more inclusive home environment in today's busy, sometimes chaotic world.

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Alan Stevens: Well, the reason I started the Campfire project was mostly because of the men that I was working with in business. I'd ask them well, if you had one word to describe your home life and your work life, what would it be? And the words, confused and frustrated, came back so many times.

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Alan Stevens: and I said, Well, okay, in your home life. Well, tell me about that. And they said, Well, look, we were told, especially Gen. X. And baby boomers, etc. We were told to go out, be absent from the family to bring the resources in. So we showed our love to the family by being absent.

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Alan Stevens: Now we're told that we're physically and emotionally absent from the family and the frustration from coming from. I can't be at home and bring the resources in. And if I'm out bringing the resources in, I'm going to be in trouble because I'm not emotionally at home. And so that was causing a lot of frustration in some cases, because there was a lack of communication that was leading on to aggression, and even some cases domestic violence

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Alan Stevens: in the workplace with political correctness and with the you know what I call it. What's expected of a man? What you could say today is fine, but tomorrow

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Alan Stevens: you'll be in trouble. So the men were frustrated. They were always trying to do the right thing, but they on tender hooks, because today I'm saying something, but tomorrow I'll be in trouble for it. So that was causing issues even to the point of anger in the workplace as well. So they had bullying in the workplace.

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Alan Stevens: So I create the Campfire project. It's a safe place for men to come and tell their stories, but I didn't have it as a group, just for men. I had women in there from day one women that I knew and I trusted. And so I started interviewing men from all over the world. Then I brought those men into panel discussions, talking about drugs, alcohol, masculinity, femininity. You name it. We covered it

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Alan Stevens: and around. I was waiting for it and praying for it. And yep it happened. The women then got in touch with me and said, Look.

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Alan Stevens: we've loved these guys. We've never heard men talk so deeply about their emotions, nor so wisely about how to improve society, and they want to get involved. So I brought them into the one on ones. The panel discussions. We've talked about menstruation. Menopause does size matter in the bedroom, no subjects being off the table.

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Alan Stevens: We've got a full complement of different cultures and religions in there. We've got different gender identities, and we've never had any bigotry, sexism, or racism, and not once has anybody been disrespectful to anybody else in over 600 h of conversations, and almost 7 years now, or 7 years. In August.

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Mark Entrekin: Impressive.

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Alan Stevens: And so, and that's on Facebook of all places as well, because we know that some to get into the group, 2 questions

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Alan Stevens: virtually the same question, why, you know, will you respect everybody? And when people said, Why did you ask the same question twice I went. There's your 2 chances. You don't get a 3.rd

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Alan Stevens: So people knew it was 0 tolerance to any disrespect, and because of that everybody felt safe.

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Alan Stevens: They opened up and told stories. They've never told anybody else before. So being able to profile people and connect with them quickly, has been really powerful in that realm. A lot of those people have now stepped up, and they've taken on the roles of running panel discussions and one-on-ones, and they're working together. But the respect between the men and the women

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Alan Stevens: see, I knew if the men, if the women spoke first, st the men wouldn't.

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Alan Stevens: That's why I need to get the men talking first, st because I'd feel intimidated by the women, but I gave the women an opportunity to hear how men can speak when they felt safe to do so.

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Alan Stevens: so just in that it broke so many paradigms or misbeliefs that people had

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Alan Stevens: around the misconceptions around each of our genders.

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Alan Stevens: And so once we got through, that everyone with this is a place where, you know we've got to be.

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Mark Entrekin: Or we got to be.

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Alan Stevens: And because of that.

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Mark Entrekin: I like that now again, we have about 6 min left, so if you don't mind

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Mark Entrekin: a bit of it, we talked about in the first, st

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Mark Entrekin: and we'll just kind of go a little bit into your 3 step process.

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Mark Entrekin: So, and we'll talk about parents here because my my main focus this month, and for August for the mothers and moms, but

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Mark Entrekin: for a parent that's looking to better understand their children. Again, your 3 step process. What is a core concept.

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Mark Entrekin: they would learn in step one learn how to read people

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Mark Entrekin: that could immediately help them connect. How could fathers and mothers parents

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Mark Entrekin: work with that in step? One.

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Alan Stevens: Well, step one is all about knowing about yourself, because you can't read somebody else and know how to talk to them. The way that, and change the way you talk to talk to them, the way they need to be spoken to until you know where you are.

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Alan Stevens: This is about understanding yourself, and then recognizing your upside, of your tracing the downside, quickest way to work on improving your own level of confidence and self-esteem, and everything else, is to understand your own personality

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Alan Stevens: and recognize that the downside of your traits that's where you get pressured. So set your environment up so you don't. But really understanding where your strengths are.

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Alan Stevens: All of a sudden you just go up in your own estimation of who you are. You recognize yourself more accurately and more truthfully about who you really are, and from there then you can go into the second and 3rd step.

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Alan Stevens: the second.

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Mark Entrekin: Then go ahead. That's what I was talking about, diving deeper into step, 2. Communicating how they want to be spoken to. What's the most significant benefit.

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Alan Stevens: Well in doing that, if you understand their personality. Now you've got the 2 you've got where you step, one where you fit, step 2 where they fit.

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Alan Stevens: and then step 3 is change the way that you like to be spoken to to match them. See if I'm close to somebody. I have to change a little bit on that particular trait, or that way I'm talking in that situation. If I'm down way away from it, I've got to change a lot more

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Alan Stevens: if I'm on the other side of them. I've got to change in a completely different way. So step one. I've got to know where I fit. Step 2. I've got to know where they fit, and then 3 bring it together by talking to them in the way that they need to be spoken to.

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Alan Stevens: and the connection I'll give you one example very quickly. I had a boy who was 6 years old. His mother got me to profile him. The school didn't want him. The after school kid didn't want him. He had Asperger. I profiled him. I gave them a report on how they changed the way they spoke to him.

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Alan Stevens: and the end result was the last testimonial she did for me just recently, because this is a boy who, the psychologist said, who would need a carer for the rest of his life. They need medication.

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Alan Stevens: Well, after a year or so or 2 years later, medication was off the table. The psychologist was gone. He's now not 20. But last year, when he was 19, his mother did another testimonial and told me he's now living on his own up in Queensland. He's got his own place. He's got a girlfriend. He's now a an assistant manager in a nightclub. This is a boy that they said would need a carer for the rest of his life by changing the way they like to be spoken to, to match the way that he needed to. Everything changed.

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Mark Entrekin: That says so much right there, because that path that sometimes culture, sometimes our learning

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Mark Entrekin: need to need to do a redirect so just quickly as we're about to close here in just a minute.

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Mark Entrekin: or our listeners, especially the dads and parents that we're focusing on. But it is parents and moms as well, that want to dive deeper

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Mark Entrekin: and want to start applying some of your incredible wisdom to create more unity and success in their family. What's the best next step they can take right now.

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Alan Stevens: Well to test out what I do, and that is probably one of the best ways to do it when they go to my website. And if they go to the online courses section, there's a free course in there

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Alan Stevens: that they can jump in. It takes them about 28 min. But it's got a number of traits in there that can go and test for themselves gives them a bit of an idea.

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Alan Stevens: So that's the best place to actually start, but also go to my blog page. I've got a lot of blogs in there talking about a whole bunch of different things from personal relationships, business and everything else. So do a bit of reading 1st of all, and then, if I want to go the next step after that, have a chat with me.

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Alan Stevens: Yeah, nothing to have a chat, and if I can give them some guidance, I'm happy to do that.

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Mark Entrekin: Ellen, it's awesome what you're doing. I'm very impressed for what that matters. You do so much for so many, and

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Mark Entrekin: thank you so much for joining us today. Your story, your heart.

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Mark Entrekin: your message, that all that powerful reminder

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Mark Entrekin: that we open the door to communication

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Mark Entrekin: to unity. We are not just filling a volunteer slot. We're unlocking

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Mark Entrekin: potential in everything that we do from strengthening relationships to empowering our businesses

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Mark Entrekin: and building a more unified future.

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Mark Entrekin: So, Alan, your journey. It's a it's a powerful reminder

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Mark Entrekin: that unity begins within. As you said, step one

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Mark Entrekin: within ourselves, right through self awareness.

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Alan Stevens: That's it.

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Mark Entrekin: Resilience and the willingness to grow from failure. Right.

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Alan Stevens: Exactly.

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Alan Stevens: All starts with us.

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Mark Entrekin: By learning to read people.

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Mark Entrekin: We must think about this also.

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Mark Entrekin: When we learn to read people and build those authentic relationship.

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Mark Entrekin: you've transformed challenges into opportunities for connection and success.

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Mark Entrekin: I think your message perfectly mirrors the achieving unity, success formula, using chaos, turning chaos into clarity.

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Mark Entrekin: isolation into inclusion, including others and broken trust into purposeful collaboration.

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Mark Entrekin: Oh, Alan, thank you again so much as we close today, we must remember that unity isn't just an ideal.

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Mark Entrekin: It's a daily choice to lead with empathy.

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Mark Entrekin: act with integrity, and uplift others along the way.

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Mark Entrekin: So for the listeners, if you felt a spark today during our conversation follow that

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Mark Entrekin: contact. Alan, his website is Alan Stevens. That's STEV. ENS. It's dot com.au, and like you said all they can contact you anytime right?

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Alan Stevens: That's right.

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Alan Stevens: My target is to get these skills out around the world. So the more people I can help, that's all in that direction.

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Mark Entrekin: So, Alan. Thank you again I appreciate it. Do you have any closing remarks.

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Alan Stevens: Just to say, Thank you for the especially for the work that you're doing. There's a lot of people who are on the same pathway, the opportunity to be able to get together and meet them and join it with them. We can create so much more when we work together.

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Mark Entrekin: That is

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Mark Entrekin: so true. And all my pleasure, Alan, this has been an honor for me, and as we just discussed.

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Mark Entrekin: we will continue working. Maybe next week, the following week we can get together again and continue continue building this for each other and for others around the world. So

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Mark Entrekin: everyone thank you so much until next time. Let us continue turning chaos, interconnection.

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Mark Entrekin: Let us keep achieving unity. You can go to Www. achievingunity.com

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Mark Entrekin: or call us. (303) 362-8733, which is what

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Mark Entrekin: 3 0, 3 focused. We can stay focused on turning chaos into connection as we are achieving unity by harnessing the power of encouraging.

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Mark Entrekin: inspiring, and including others, in building better businesses.

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Mark Entrekin: better lives and a better world. Alan, thank you. Again.

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Mark Entrekin: you help me remember that life is what we make it.

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Mark Entrekin: So let's make it awesome together in unity. Right?

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Alan Stevens: Exactly.

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Mark Entrekin: Alright. Thank you. All cheers.

Episode 41: Alan Stevens

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Guest: Alan Stevens

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