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Mark Entrekin: Hello and welcome back to another inspiring episode of the achieving unity, success, formula, Weekly podcast
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Mark Entrekin: where we turn chaos into connection and purpose into action. I'm your host, Mark Intriken. And today's episode is about the achieving unity success formula through Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman, a retired Us. Army ranger, a paratrooper and a former West Point psychology professor.
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Mark Entrekin: He is one of the world's leading experts on psychology of combat.
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Mark Entrekin: the science of human aggression, and the effects of violence in so many ways. It's the violent media on society in itself.
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Mark Entrekin: So if you believe in putting relationships and those closest to you first, st
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Mark Entrekin: and profits and selfishness. Second, you'll find alignment in the things that he does to put things forward in what we do and what we also do through the achieving unity, success formula. But first, st before we dive in, let me quickly introduce my company. Reality, focus dynamics where this all does begin
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Mark Entrekin: on the screen right now you'll see my gift to you.
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Mark Entrekin: It was going to come to the these meetings and see what it's about, and it's all about ending anger, and no people don't like that word anger.
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Mark Entrekin: but we can call it frustration.
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Mark Entrekin: because frustration is very dangerous in many, many ways.
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Mark Entrekin: We can talk about
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Mark Entrekin: hate, and that disconnection. And people like the word hate. But it's a disconnection from people in society.
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Mark Entrekin: Then we also talk about prejudice, and there are about 41 different types of prejudice that we don't even think about every day.
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Mark Entrekin: Please read my my gift to you, this Unity guide and give me feedback. If you'd like contact me. We have your QR. Codes on both sides for you to get in touch with me in contact with me. See the guide read the Guide.
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Mark Entrekin: And let's talk more. Soon
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Mark Entrekin: the achieving unity, success formula, we are on weekly podcast number 42, we started back in September of 24,
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Mark Entrekin: Dr. Mort. Orman started this and another wonderful person that talks strongly and has books on ending anger.
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Mark Entrekin: Our success formula is, every Wednesday starts at one Pm. Pacific time 4 pm. Eastern time, and I hope you'll put it on your calendar because we'd like to see you here every week.
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Mark Entrekin: It's all about being successful. And that's what the success formula brings to us in so many ways. It shows us what we need to do, how we need to do it and where we can be in the process, as you see in our logo here, it truly represents the heart of what I do.
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Mark Entrekin: Notice how focused is right in the center. It sits right in the center.
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Mark Entrekin: That's because everything that we explore from reality focused dynamics to success focused solutions. It all resolves around clear, intentional direction.
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Mark Entrekin: In fact, that idea of focus is so central to me.
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Mark Entrekin: to us, it's even built right into our business. Phone number (303) 362-8733, which spells 3, 0, 3. Focused on your phone pad.
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Mark Entrekin: We believe that by truly focusing on what matters we can create meaningful change and achieve lasting unity.
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Mark Entrekin: Please use those QR codes. Get in touch with me or give me a call. Rio 3. Focus. I'm looking forward to focusing that direction with you.
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Mark Entrekin: We have proven compassionate strategies that turn conflict into lasting harmony at home, at work in every relationship that matters, no matter where you've been before. What's occurred? We help you get over those processes and go forward in unity.
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Mark Entrekin: Are you ever frustrated by tension or arguments? Our 7 step roadmap gives you the tools
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Mark Entrekin: to move from conflict to collaboration quickly and confidently.
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Mark Entrekin: Are you ever craving stronger trust and connection
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Mark Entrekin: with us? You can discover communication tactics that build respect.
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Mark Entrekin: repair relationships and unify teams and families alike personally and professionally transform conflict into connection together, achieving unity.
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Mark Entrekin: unity inspires homes, it shapes society, and it transforms workplaces. We help you turn that frustration into understanding.
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Mark Entrekin: Have you ever heard somebody say what the frustration? Yes, that's where it comes from. We can find value in our actions. Instead of reacting in anger or frustration, we show that anger holds no value. Anger is nothing more than actions, not gaining effective results. A NGER. Actions not gaining effective results.
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Mark Entrekin: Anger has no value.
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Mark Entrekin: Yes. Life happens in every relationship. Personal relationships, professional relationships, work, social everywhere, parenting time to partnerships.
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Mark Entrekin: from the boardroom to the bedroom, and every room in between.
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Mark Entrekin: We show you how to embrace your challenges and encourage a more inspired and inclusive future. If you check my blog, you'll see that I have several articles on converting that Eei and Dei into actions that we can help build each and every day
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Mark Entrekin: we have one vision, one goal achieving unity in every area of life.
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Mark Entrekin: our call to action. Let's ditch the drama. How much drama is out there. Let's get stuff done. We show you how to turn your life from what may seem like a dumpster fire into a well oiled machine
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Mark Entrekin: achieving unity, the path to stronger relationships.
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Mark Entrekin: inspired leadership and lasting change. Talk to us about coaching, consulting courses and keynote speeches, contact us today. We'd love to hear from you
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Mark Entrekin: the 7 steps to achieving unity, success, formula, course is starting soon.
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Mark Entrekin: living life fully through present moment awareness.
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Mark Entrekin: Our next course starts on August 7.th It's a Thursday, 7 Thursdays in a row, one Pm. Pacific time, 4 Pm. Eastern time
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Mark Entrekin: achieving unity does not solve problems.
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Mark Entrekin: but it builds the bridges to possibility.
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Mark Entrekin: encourage every person's growth by replacing criticism with compassion, inspire change through hope, not pressure.
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Mark Entrekin: Every step forward matters include every voice, so no one feels unseen, unheard, or unworthy.
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Mark Entrekin: When we replace that disconnection with empathy and frustration, with understanding.
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Mark Entrekin: We create a space for trust.
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Mark Entrekin: collaboration and shared success. That is how we thrive together, achieving unity.
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Mark Entrekin: our next. And again, I hope you put this on your calendar. We're here every Wednesday one Pm. Pacific time, 4 Pm. Eastern time
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Mark Entrekin: next week.
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Mark Entrekin: My speaker has not committed. It's been a situation of not being able to find the right times
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Mark Entrekin: to work with them and talk. But we want to focus on us independence today before the 4th of July Independence Day. Here in the United States of America, we have a wonderful guest, and I'm so honored to be here next week. We want to talk more about the independence.
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Mark Entrekin: more about the Constitution, and how we can use that going forward for the next 51 weeks until we're back here before our next 4th of July. Our next Independence Day
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Mark Entrekin: on July 16, th Vicky Maizell will be here championing memory, enhancement.
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Mark Entrekin: All of us want to work on our memory. I won't go into the details right now, but it goes to some great ideas about it may maybe think you have a memory problem.
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Mark Entrekin: but it goes beyond that. It's not memory problem. Sometimes it's our attention. And our thoughts are keeping that
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Mark Entrekin: on July 23, rd we have Dr. Ali Lacherani, Dr. L.
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Mark Entrekin: He's about the 4 ways to key 4 key ways to optimizing brain potential.
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Mark Entrekin: awesome situation of helping us be better and do better and take the things that we're learning even today. Take them forward, make them better.
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Mark Entrekin: Then we have Tiffany, Tiffany Kellogg knock your socks off. She worked with moms without children. She has a lot of good parenting concepts and ideas that I know you will want to share with us.
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Mark Entrekin: She want to share with you.
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Mark Entrekin: Come on back, let's listen to more about that.
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Mark Entrekin: Then, Laurie Sheldon Sheridan, she went, heal, rebuild, and resolve.
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Mark Entrekin: create the life and love you deserve after toxic relationships. And we see so much toxicity today, so much negativity, so many people finding wrong
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Mark Entrekin: to do and work from that. And please remember.
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Mark Entrekin: in August all 4 of our Podcasts are from moms.
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Mark Entrekin: mothers, and parenting on the mother's side, on the mom's side, to open up some of those ideas. Last month we did 4 weeks of fathers in June.
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Mark Entrekin: August, was the 4 weeks of moms.
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Mark Entrekin: Let's learn more about how we can work together mothers and fathers. Another one of my domains.
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Mark Entrekin: the best parent, is both parents. We include grandparents in that, so please come back and join us all. 4 weeks in August will be on the on the moms and mother side, but we have a couple of other ones between now and then
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Mark Entrekin: please come back. We want to hear your feedback and always love your questions.
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Mark Entrekin: Today. Again, as I mentioned, I am so honored.
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Mark Entrekin: Anytime I see someone, the police force, the armed services.
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Mark Entrekin: all the people that give us the freedoms that we have today.
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Mark Entrekin: We're going to be learning today the price of freedom and the warrior's burden told the retired lieutenant, Colonel Dave Grossman.
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Mark Entrekin: He's a US. Army Ranger, a paratrooper, former West Point psychology professor.
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Mark Entrekin: He's 1 of the world's leading experts on the psychology of combat, human aggression
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Mark Entrekin: and the effects of violent media.
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Mark Entrekin: That's the media that we watch you and I.
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Mark Entrekin: He he has authored the bestsellers on killing, on combat.
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Mark Entrekin: Are you widely used in military
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Mark Entrekin: law enforcement, and mental health training? And we'll get to talk a little about that mental health part of it. Today
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Mark Entrekin: he trained tens of thousands of professionals, testified before Congress contributed to national policy and consulted on major tragedies, including school shootings.
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Mark Entrekin: His work on stress resilience.
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Mark Entrekin: The warrior mindset and public safety has shaped modern preparedness across the US.
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Mark Entrekin: He continues to educate and inspire those who protect and serve through speaking, riding, and training initiatives nationwide.
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Mark Entrekin: Please help me welcome, Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman.
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Dave Grossman: Hey, Mark.
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Mark Entrekin: Hey!
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Mark Entrekin: How are you?
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Dave Grossman: I'm blessed. I'm truly blessed. I'm so excited to be on board with you and your audience and your great work here. You know I teach resiliency and resiliency in a nutshell. People who do not get Ptsd
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Dave Grossman: say, keynote speaker, the 1st department of Defense wide Resiliency Conference, opening speaker, the second Dod, wide resilience and and at the core of resiliency
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Dave Grossman: is this concept, you know, people who do not get Ptsd and we use an example of Victor Frankl wrote some important books, walked out of a Nazi death camp skeleton endured unthinkable evil and did not have Ptsd upstairs. He was just fine, and he said that the heart of the matter was simply this, he said, I realized
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Dave Grossman: the only thing the universe those Nazis couldn't control
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Dave Grossman: is how I choose to respond.
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Dave Grossman: And really that lies at the heart of this whole focus and resiliency is the only thing universe you can control is how you choose to respond. And if we give way to bitterness, or or or complacency or denial, that's that's the one thing we can control.
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Dave Grossman: and we will not give the world that victory. And so this this concept is compatible with classic stoicism and Christianity. We've all heard the serenity prayer. You know that to do the things I can to let go of the things I can't, and have the wisdom to know the difference. And that rolls back to your focus. You know what's important right now is the only thing universe you can control is yourself, and let go of everything else.
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Mark Entrekin: And that is also awesome. And how would you like to be address you? Can I call you Dave? Can I call you.
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Dave Grossman: Dave! Dave! Dave is great.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you so much. Well, I asked that because I am so honored, my dad was in the army. He was in World War 2, and I have my brothers both served. I have a nephew that is, a is a colonel as well.
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Mark Entrekin: I am just so respectful of what? Of the freedom that I have today because of all of you. And and it's so wonderful.
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Mark Entrekin: I am glad, though, that you're talking about that resilience because so many people.
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Mark Entrekin: and, as you mentioned, we don't know that it is our mind that controls what we do.
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Mark Entrekin: and we are in control of our mind right.
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Dave Grossman: Yes, the only thing universe we can control. And so, you know, you talk about anger.
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Dave Grossman: You know. I talked to my cops
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Dave Grossman: and military, you know I'm on July 5.th I'm going to be talking to all the people in security in the Baghdad Embassy, the marines, and it's the only Embassy with an army battalion attached to it for security purposes, and others that have been invited to join. And we talk about this idea that you don't lose your temper, you give it away. It's only if you.
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Mark Entrekin: They're well said.
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Dave Grossman: You know it's the only thing you can control. You don't lose your temper, you give it away. Now, that's easy to say. It's not all that easy to do, but the 1st step is understanding. There's never an appropriate time to lose your temper, and I talk from a physiological standpoint. I try to lay a foundation on sympathetic and parasympathetic, which are both part of the autonomic nervous system.
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Dave Grossman: And so I'm an old Ocs. Grad came up through the ranks. Prior service, buck sergeant and I ended up teaching at West Point at the time I was the only Ocs. Guy teaching at West Point, and and I loved it. And and the top military minds, the type psych minds put their heads together. So what do we want these people to know about psychology.
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Dave Grossman: And right at the top of the list is this this physiology of the sympathetic and parasympathetic and sympathetic? We all know it's kind of fight or flight response. We all know we got to control that. We can't let it go. And and and we've got to control, fight or flight. And then, on the other side of the equation is often called feed and breed, or rest and digest. When we talk about rest and digest. One of the 1st things we learn to do is to not crap ourselves.
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Dave Grossman: Now, you know that's hard. You know. Most animals never learn that this is the autonomic nervous system. It's automatic. It's not under conscious control. What makes us human is bringing these things under conscious control.
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Dave Grossman: So this, this whole idea of the the autonomic nervous system we got we got we got we got rest and digest, and and if you ever house trained a dog or potty trained a kid, that's hard.
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Dave Grossman: So I tell people, you know there's never an appropriate time to crap yourself.
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Dave Grossman: and there's never an appropriate time to lose your temper. Now, that's easy to say, and a lot of people get angry right there and just reject it right there.
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Mark Entrekin: Exactly.
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Dave Grossman: I was a bad father. I did. Okay. The kids were not all right in spite of me. I'll tell you some of the keys. I'm ashamed of times I lost my temper. I was a better grandfather. I asked my audiences how many all got kids, you know. We all looked at your parents with your kids, and said, Are you the same ones that raised me?
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Dave Grossman: And the answer is, no, they're not. They're at least 20 years old or more mature. It's called maturity. We want to get it as fast as we can. I wish, as a young buck, sergeant, I wish, as a young father. Somebody had told me
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Dave Grossman: that it's never a good thing to lose your temper, and as a military leader, as a law enforcement leader. If the day-to-day piss, and things make us lose our temper when things are going to hell and people are dying. You don't have a prayer.
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Dave Grossman: We all recognize and embrace the fact that our leaders have got to remain calm. Military and law enforcement leaders. When people are dying and things are going bad, the leaders must remain calm, and it goes all the way through history. We talked about the Stoic Roman, the inscrutable samurai, the laconic Spartan, the stiff upper lipped Brit. And today we talk about the quiet professional.
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Dave Grossman: the quiet professional. Those are all different ways saying the same thing. Self-control.
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Dave Grossman: Nobody respects our temper. Tantrum leadership is never about screaming at people.
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Dave Grossman: We've all had leaders that screamed at us and we despise them. Don't be that person. I tell people in the military, in basic training, and in Ocs. The drill sergeant they get in their face and they scream at you. It's a form of stress inoculation intentionally used in that one circumstance completely inappropriate anywhere else.
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Dave Grossman: People think, oh, the drill sergeant goes to Nolan, you know they're out of control. No, no, they're the last one to do that because they know it's a game that we played in one specific circumstance, completely inappropriate anywhere else. And so I wish somebody had told me as a young sergeant that the key to being a leader is being a better person, and being a better person is about self-control.
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Dave Grossman: So we got we got fight or flight. Getting that under control, we got we got rest and digest right, and and feed and breed
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Dave Grossman: and and.
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Mark Entrekin: I like those.
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Dave Grossman: There's a biological backlash, you know, after a traumatic event, there's a backlash from fight or flight to feed and breed. I train 1st responders. I train our nation's largest fire department and many, many others, and and after a traumatic, and we see it with victims. After a traumatic event.
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Dave Grossman: people seek
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Dave Grossman: intimacy, they seek reassurance. Frank Herbert called it the universal drive to immortality through progeny. In the face of death they seek sex. I trained all of the United States Army sexual assault and harassment investigators and counselors.
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Dave Grossman: And I said, what may look like a pattern of promiscuity after a traumatic event is actually a normal biological response. You need to know this. I tell my 1st responders after a traumatic event, you know, you may find yourself going home and having very intense relationships. Both partners are very invested in some very intense sex. And and it's okay. If it doesn't happen, if it does happen, you make the best off of it. Here's the key.
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Mark Entrekin: Make the best of it.
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Dave Grossman: Off duty. Wait until you're off duty. It is. It is astounding
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Dave Grossman: how many 1st responders get in trouble every year for having sex on duty, and they're blindsided by this this biological response. So we all these things are not excuses, you know, the fight or flight hormones kicked in. I couldn't control myself. I choked about. Oh, okay, we understand. No, you know, the feed and breed hormones kicked in. We couldn't control ourselves. No being human is about controlling these things. So
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Dave Grossman: these things get so tragically misrepresented. Somebody. So Grossman says you're going to kill somebody and go home and have great sex. They left out the part about off duty left out the physiological foundation of it. But what's so evil about that is, not not that they're misrepresenting me, but that people have this normal biological response and think there's something wrong with them.
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Dave Grossman: So what makes us human is taking the autonomic nervous system, fight or flight feed and breed, rest and digest
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Dave Grossman: and bringing it under conscious control.
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Dave Grossman: And the 1st one we learned like, I said, is to not crap ourselves, and then we learn to not lose our temper, and we learned to have appropriate sexual relationship with appropriate people at the appropriate time. And then, of course, you know, when we talk about about feed and breed, there's there's a real tendency to overeat. And and
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Dave Grossman: as a stress response and focusing that appropriately and and so so much of what we need to do as a human being is, take that animal part, that autonomic nervous system bring it under conscious control, and the 1st step is simply knowing. There, you know, I could tell people there's never an appropriate time to crap yourself. There's never an appropriate time to lose your temper, and that's hard. But but we'll talk about ways to do that. We'll talk about tricks that make that possible, and how we can train people to be better at that.
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Mark Entrekin: That is awesome. I love the things that you're talking about and the things that you're doing.
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Mark Entrekin: some of your experience. It amazes me. I mean, you've worn a lot of hats and
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Mark Entrekin: just to be able to touch
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Mark Entrekin: on all of your experiences. But you've been an army Ranger. You've been as you've talked about West Point, Professor, you're a best-selling author.
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Mark Entrekin: When people ask you what you do.
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Mark Entrekin: how can you sum that up without needing a Powerpoint presentation. I mean, Dave.
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Mark Entrekin: the depth of your experience and knowledge is amazing. How do you? How do you tell people what they.
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Dave Grossman: I just tell my I'm old retired soldier, you know, doing the best I can, just knocking out the books one by one. Got got 16 books in print, and and one of the things we've done recently is done a lot of work on the faith side of the equation.
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Dave Grossman: One of my books is on spiritual combat.
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Dave Grossman: and we've got the book Bulletproof Marriage, Christian Book Award Finalist. You can leverage your faith into your relationships. And and and one of the things we talked about recently, it's really important
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Dave Grossman: is why, why would anybody stay in the fight, you know? Why would a cop or a firefighter do what they do in these times. And
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Dave Grossman: and Jesus said, Greater love. And it's all about love.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah. So what's the opposite of evil?
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Dave Grossman: Evil is absence of love, just as darkness, absence of light.
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Dave Grossman: and and we defeat evil with love, love for our family, love for our children, love for our fellow man. So I tell my cops. Jesus said, greater love is known than this.
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Dave Grossman: that they lay down their life for their friends.
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Dave Grossman: So what men are in love is this, that
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Dave Grossman: our firefighters, our cops, will lay the life down for strangers. They will die for people they've never met. What matter of love is this, but but hear that verse one more time. Greater love is known than this.
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Dave Grossman: that they lead on their life for their friends. But there are many ways to lead on your life. There's many ways to lead on your life, and sometimes the greatest love is not to sacrifice your life.
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Dave Grossman: but to live a life of sacrifice.
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Dave Grossman: And so when we talk about about love, you know, you talk about compassion. Passion is the root of compassion. What makes a great cop. It's a great firefighter, is is passion, and and passion is the root of compassion. But even more importantly, is empathy.
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Dave Grossman: And you say, what if it was my family trapped in that burning building. What if it was my spouse that had been murdered? What if it was my child that had been assaulted. What makes a great cop? What makes a great 1st responder is empathy is empathy. Is love with his shoes on. Empathy is love in action.
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Dave Grossman: and telling me if we love them enough to die for them, and we do. That's our job.
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Dave Grossman: Do we love them enough to be patient, to be kind.
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Mark Entrekin: Wow!
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Dave Grossman: To be compassionate at their hour of greatest need, and that comes back to controlling yourself, you know you look at a traffic stop and gone bad, and when that cop lost his tempers, when everything went downhill that cops being paid by the hour, he's got all day long when that cop loses his tempers when the whole traffic stop goes bad, and then everything goes downhill from there. So I tell my cops, you know, paraphraiting Victor Frankl, it's a big game. You lose your temper, you lose the game.
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Dave Grossman: and especially with with people who have lives on on the line. Military leaders, law enforcement 1st responders, you lose your temper, you lose the game, and so the greatest achievement is to learn to control that temper. I was a better grandfather I've got.
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Dave Grossman: I've got a son who has got 9 combat tours and just retired. I got a grandson who's deployed right now. He's he's engaged girl, and in the very near future will be great grandparents, and I was a far better grandfather, and I'm going to be a lot better. Great grandfather, you know, so so.
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Mark Entrekin: I love that.
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Dave Grossman: And I think the heart of the matter is that we can just keep being better people. One of the one of the greatest joys. I'm 68 years old next month 69. One of the greatest joys is I can say, Yeah, I'm I'm a better person than I was 5 years ago.
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Dave Grossman: I'm a kinder, more patient, calmer, better person than I was just 5 years ago, and we can keep being better people, and that's our that should be. Our goal is just keep being better.
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Mark Entrekin: So how do we do that? That's 1 of the things, Dave, that I talk with a lot of people about, and it goes back to the simple term I used earlier. And I keep it in every podcast and that's about anger actions not gaining effective results. Why do we do it. How? How do you work with the people that you're working with?
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Mark Entrekin: It's such a struggle. And but yet I work with theoretical
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Mark Entrekin: corporate people association through universities. You work with people that are in those life and death situations. How do you do that? How? How did what do you use.
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Dave Grossman: That is, is at the root of it all. I really believe with all my heart. And I asked, What's the opposite of fear? Why will people die? A mama critter will die for a baby? She loves her babies. Audie Murphy, the most decorated American soldier in World War 2 was asked one time why he did it. He said they were killing my friends. Audie Murphy loved his friends more than life itself, and and the heart of it is is love.
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Dave Grossman: And and so this, this, this compassion that we feel for others, this, this love that we feel for others. And and here's the point. Now I'm I'm a Christian, and and God told us our job
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Dave Grossman: is to love God and love people. Jesus said, a new commandment, I give you
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Dave Grossman: to love others as I have loved you. You could even make the argument. It replaces the 10 Commandments when we're under a new covenant, but at least it supplements. There's now 11 commandments and and a new commandment. I give you to love others as I have loved you, Jesus loved enough to die for us. So our mission in this life is to love
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Dave Grossman: and and the primary power. But primary tool in in spiritual warfare is prayer, and we should pray for more love, we should, we should ask every day for more love, and when we lose.
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Mark Entrekin: I.
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Dave Grossman: Since then. Then we made a mistake and tried to do a better job the next time.
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Mark Entrekin: Exactly. I am so in with you. I'm a Christian. Go to church every Sunday. I help the church build, no doubt about it, but I help people work with prayer because prayer means getting up off your knees and doing something. Use the information you're receiving from God as a guidance, and get up and do something. We can't sit there on our knees all day long. That's just one of the biggest things that we want to work on in the process.
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Mark Entrekin: Congratulations! All your children and grandchildren that is awesome. I'm so excited to see and hear that that's tremendous. I was going to go because my dad was in the army going to go into the marines, but I was injured in a major accident.
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Mark Entrekin: darn it! I was 18 at the time a little bit rebellious, and since I wasn't probably wasn't gonna get to find the big jet because of my head injury, neuro injury.
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Mark Entrekin: I I didn't join, and I and I wished I would have
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Mark Entrekin: because of things you would learn, and and meeting people
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Mark Entrekin: like you in what you do.
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Mark Entrekin: So you've done so much again in
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Mark Entrekin: and everything. And you've written the book you just showed your own killing and your own combat.
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Mark Entrekin: Each of those have become like a must read for soldiers and 1st Responders.
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Mark Entrekin: Bookant's required reading list require reading.
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Dave Grossman: Over 20 years. The books are the comments on killing on combat. What an honor, what a blessing! You know my book, my book on combat, if I may. It was. This is where we talked about, sympathetic, parasympathetic, and but my book on Combat, translated in many languages, translated into Ukrainian, and last year won the Ukraine. Last January one Ukraine book of the year award in May and June of last year.
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Dave Grossman: their military brought me out to Ukraine to train their troops. So I was 67 years old at the time, spent my summer vacation in the war zone. But they've embraced this book and this this dynamic of sympathetic and parasympathetic and understanding, how the body responds, and what to do about it, and then how it can become Ptsd, and how to prevent that. And really, in a nutshell.
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Dave Grossman: after a traumatic event, neural networks are established, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in under times of great need, and a neural network is there? And then something triggers that
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Dave Grossman: a sound, a smell? Well, you, you talk about. You think about the event, and that sympathetic nervous system kicks in again. And and and that is not Ptsd. It's normal
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Dave Grossman: how you deal with it will decide whether or not it becomes Ptsd. And what you got to do is make peace with the memory, separate the memory from the sympathetic nervous system, be able to be able to talk about it and think about it
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Dave Grossman: without this physiological arousal coming along for the ride, and it comes back to bringing the autonomic nervous system back under conscious control. And there's a couple of tricks we have. The breathing exercise in the book is just taken off, and another one is just a big drink of water we found when somebody starts going off on that to re-experience the event. Just take them. Stop and take a big drink of water.
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Dave Grossman: and it makes you breathe, and you swallow, and it hits the stomach, and those are all parasympathetic processes. It sends a message. We're safe.
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Dave Grossman: We're safe, I tell people. You know, a deer's being chased by a wolf. He's time to get a drink. I can't get a drink. I'm being chased by a wolf. The very fact that you stop
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Dave Grossman: and take that drink of water. It sends you a powerful message. So I tell my cops, I said. Let's say you're getting a witness statement
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Dave Grossman: from a victim of a crime.
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Dave Grossman: If this individual becomes emotional.
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Dave Grossman: A, you don't need all the drama. But B, they're re-experienced in the event. They're beginning to link the memory to the emotions, and we don't want that. So put a bottle of water in front of them, just the power of a gift. Crack the seal, put a bottle of water in front of them.
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Dave Grossman: and and as a this, this victim of the crime is to give you their witness statement every time they start to become emotional. Make them stop.
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Dave Grossman: Take that big spike of water and regain control.
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Dave Grossman: A, you're picking them.
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Dave Grossman: The calm, rational statement, the need be, you send them down the path of mental wellness from the very beginning you teach them to separate the memory from the emotions. So one of the healing fire Ems military. We all do a debriefing and after action review. We all sit around
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Dave Grossman: and everybody talks about what happened, and it's really important to fill in the memory gaps. People have big memory gaps and they fill in the memory distortions. People just flat remember things that did not happen. We sort out the memory distortions we fill in the memory gaps. People heard of schism or critical stress management or debriefings.
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Dave Grossman: but the new component, everybody has a bottle of water in front of them.
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Dave Grossman: and as they talk about what happened, if anybody starts to become emotional, stop.
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Dave Grossman: take that big swig of water, and from the very beginning separate the memory from the emotions, and that's that's part of that path to healing. We take that debriefing we've always done every every soldier knows. Take a knee and take a swig from your canteen. Well, now, we just take a deep breath and take a drink of that water and regain control and begin the process of separating the memory from the physiological arousal. To be able to think about it, talk about it without the sympathetic nervous system kicking in.
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Mark Entrekin: That's yeah. That's beautiful. That separate that memory from that emotion is so powerful. I work on the breathing exercises also, starting on the 1st Tuesday in August.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah.
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Mark Entrekin: A program to help into domestic violence and intimate partner violence, and I hope to borrow your
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Mark Entrekin: thought there to bring a bottle of water. This will be online, be virtual. But to bring that bottle of water to our seminars, and if you don't mind, I'd like to use your example.
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Dave Grossman: One with it. I got, you know, a lady. I've been using it. We've learned it. It's just kind of taken off in the community, but a friend of mine. She's a therapist for a Federal agency, and one of their people in a deadly force incident. They fly her in, and she debriefs them, and now she puts that bottle she used to make them breathe. That's what I used to do, and stop and breathe and regain control. Now she puts that bottle of water in front of them, and she told me.
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Mark Entrekin: Part of it.
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Dave Grossman: She said. She said she said, 6 years of college, 14 years of practice, and this stupid bottle of water is doing more good. Anything I've ever done. Now, if that doesn't do it, if that doesn't help you separate the members in the motion, there's other things something called Emdr eye movement, desensation, reprocessing.
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Dave Grossman: And what you do is you follow a visual stimulus as you talk about what happened. The midbrain, the autonomic nervous system is a very simple organism. It can only do one thing at a time. So while you're in the front yard chasing a ball, they call it the puppy inside. The puppy is in the front yard while you're following that visual stimulus. The autonomic nervous system is tied up.
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Dave Grossman: and you're able to talk about it and think about it for the 1st time without the emotions come along for the ride very often, after just one or 2 emdr sessions, we completely separate the memory from the emotions.
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Mark Entrekin: And so many of us have learned that from the time we're young, from our parents to school we've learned things that were not the best
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Mark Entrekin: results, and and what we do through the anger and the things, all the things that you're talking about right there, and our ability to make that happen, and to open that up to people like, I think that you're doing, and thank you so much.
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Mark Entrekin: because if people don't know it, they can't use it right.
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Dave Grossman: Exactly, and you know that breathing exercise is in my book. The drink of water is not in my book. It should come out the last 5, 10 years. But
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Dave Grossman: I've got case studies mailed to me and emailed to me, organized by subject. And of all the subject, the breathing exercise is by far the largest folder people, using it in all kinds of crazy environments when it just pops into their head, and the breathing is there, and it saves their life in a in a really traumatic event. So keep pushing that breathing. It's it's really given the strongest feedback of anything I've been able to pass on, but the water, the water takes it to a new level.
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Mark Entrekin: I think it does, too, and I'm so glad to be able to talk with you. Number one, but just a list of some of the things that you've learned. And as I look at the books you've written, and just looking at own killing
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Mark Entrekin: and on combat, I can see where you're coming from on those.
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Mark Entrekin: But I also think to myself, as far as the people that I talk with.
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Mark Entrekin: what do those titles mean for the average person, the average mom average dad, who's never been in a firefight, but might be fighting some battles of their own at their home or work. How how do you.
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Dave Grossman: And that kind of ties in with spiritual combat.
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Dave Grossman: you know, because the the book, the 1st book on Killing came out in 1995. It was intentionally provocative.
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Dave Grossman: And killing is this taboo word. We don't like to use it, and we need to confront the reality of it. If we're, you know. And I tell law enforcement in law enforcement, our goal is never to kill. We're using deadly force because we believe there's no other option.
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Mark Entrekin: And only in those situations right?
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Dave Grossman: We're using deadly force to save lives the moment that person is no longer a threat, their life is precious. Any other life on the planet.
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Dave Grossman: But nevertheless, as a result of what we do, there's a chance. Lives will be lost in the military. Very often. You know that I train predator and reaper operators across America, and their predator operator has been ordered to kill that terrorist. If they do not kill that terrorist, they failed in their mission, and once again we've got to come to terms with it. But but in the, in, the, in the law enforcement, our goal is never to kill
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Dave Grossman: in so many ways. Our strength comes from that. Our purity comes from that. And so many times a traumatic event. Families there, communities there, you know, somebody's down and the cop slaps on a tourniquet and applies Cpr. And completely diffuse the situation. And there's power in that. Another thing that there's power in is we talk about de-escalation, and anybody can do a de-escalation. The 1st step in de-escalation is, be calm yourself. That's where the breathing comes in. Just hop and take that breath.
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Dave Grossman: But a lady wrote something. It's been taken off, and I'm not so sure where she got it from. But the 3 most important sentences you'll ever see. And the 1st sentence, most important of all.
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Dave Grossman: whenever you got somebody having a problem, whenever you just just the 1st words that come out of your mouth.
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Dave Grossman: Please tell me what's wrong. Ha!
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Dave Grossman: Somebody wants to hear my story. Somebody cares empathy endorphins. Let them vent, you know when when we're in a frightened mode. When the sympathetic nervous system totally takes over the forebrain shuts down, there's no rational thought.
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Dave Grossman: How do you? How do you calm that person down. Well, the swig of water. There's other tools, but as a verbal tool, as a verbal tool to get right inside their ooda loop.
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Dave Grossman: please tell me what's wrong
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Dave Grossman: this decent? And then the next thing let them vent, let them talk on. And the next thing is truly, I'm sorry this is happening.
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Dave Grossman: And the 3rd and final sentence, I will do everything in my power to help you. And just those 3 sentences so so much alive, is about having the right thing to say at the right time. Please tell me what's wrong. Let them vent, let them go. I'm sorry this is happening. I will do everything in my power to help you. There's de-escalation in 3 simple sentences, but the 1st step in calming somebody else down is to be calm yourself, and that's where the breath.
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Mark Entrekin: Awesome.
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Dave Grossman: And then, and offering that bottle of water and other tools. But when we talk about the parasympathetic processes.
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Dave Grossman: I trained a major Spec. Ops unit, and the master sergeant that was my host. His wife was an er psychiatrist, an emergency room psychiatrist. And she told him something sweeping through the er around the planet.
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Dave Grossman: If they got somebody out of control tearing up the emergency room. You know what they do. They grab a bag of M. And Ms. They rip it open, they shove the guy's face. Would you like some M. And Ms. And a large portion of the time completely diffuse the situation.
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Dave Grossman: Now the Spec. Ops Guy telling me this story. He said, that I blew it off touchy, feely. Stuff right? And but this kind of guy carries a gun off duty. Kind of guy you'd want to, he said. 2 different times. I'm off duty to my wife. I think I'm going to have to draw my gun and fight for our lives, he said. Both times she reaches in her purse, grabs a bag of M. And Ms. Rips it over, shoves the Guy's face with, like some M. And Ms. And completely diffuse the situation. So so I've got this this little.
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Mark Entrekin: Back.
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Dave Grossman: It's a power, but I've got this little life hack. Remember my cops, it's a big game. You lose your temper, you lose the game military leader. You lose your tempered parents, you lose your temper, you lose the game right? So. What I tell cops. Now I tell cops I like Tootsie Rolls, the little short ones, you know. They're individually wrapped. They stay clean. They're good in the heat. They're good in the cold. They remind me of Halloween candy.
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Dave Grossman: And so what I what I was telling what I was telling, get a little baggie of these things and put them in the dash of your car.
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Dave Grossman: You only get to have one. Somebody's ugly to you, so gives the finger. Ha! I get a Tootsie roll right. I get a Tootsie roll and you actually take. They meant to harm you, and you turn something positive. So a cop told me. This is genius, he said. Dave. I was pounding down Tootsie rolls. I was eating way too many Tootsie rolls, so I changed to smarties. You know those little pills, little smarties, he said. This is my little chill pill.
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Dave Grossman: he says somebody gives their finger. I get a smarty, he said. The only problem is, you're never happy at just one of those little things I want to know.
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Mark Entrekin: Like potato. Chip.
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Dave Grossman: I want another one, right? So I want another smarty. So I drive around town. I smile and wave at people, some of you. I get another smarty. And what I just described to you is actual cognitive behavior therapy through your thoughts and your actions. You're rewired the way you process something. Somebody tried to hurt you. Now you can't control that idiot does. You know you can't control them.
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Dave Grossman: What's the only thing University can control is how you choose to respond.
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Dave Grossman: and if you let that bother you, then they win. We'll let them win, so that that what they meant to hurt you means, oh, I get a smarty, and it's actual cognitive behavior therapy. Where, through your actions and thoughts, you reprocess, how you deal with these things, and that's our goal as human beings is to get control of that autonomic nervous system, fight or flight.
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Mark Entrekin: Exactly.
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Dave Grossman: And breed and bring those things under control.
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Mark Entrekin: Yeah, that is so true. And you know, Dave, what I just appreciating so much right now is, we talk a lot on this podcast about preparing for challenges and how people can train their minds, as you're saying, for everyday stress.
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Mark Entrekin: And what I'm hearing and help me out here. What I'm hearing you say the things that you talk to, our wonderful protectors, our police officers, our fire department, all of our armed services.
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Mark Entrekin: You're talking the same things. You're training people that go to war into battle.
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Mark Entrekin: Those things work for them, but they work for us.
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Dave Grossman: Indeed they do exactly right, hey? You know one final thing, and it's the most important point of all in so many ways, Mark, we're in the middle of a global epidemic of sleep deprivation.
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Dave Grossman: It impacts everything. The the video games, the social media, the binge watching shows. All of these things are scientifically designed to steal our sleep
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Dave Grossman: and sleep. Deprivation is just like being drunk.
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Dave Grossman: and so, after 24 h without sleep, your impaired judgment
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Dave Grossman: just like being point 1 0 above legally drunk.
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Dave Grossman: And and thing to understand is 24 h without sleep, and you are essentially mentally ill.
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Dave Grossman: Now somebody who was drunk, set aside the fact that they're drunk. If that behavior and that thought process of a drunken person they're driving their skill at driving, you know, and everything else that would be mentally ill, and after 36 h without sleep. And and there's really a prolonged process. You can have 4 h of sleep, and after 20 days of that you are destroyed. You're a destroyed human being.
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Dave Grossman: and after 36 h without sleep you are truly, mentally ill. You are irrational, you are aggressive, you are angry, and your inhibitions have been completely repressed. On the 3rd day. Without sleep you are psychotic. You will see things and hear things that are not there. Any graduate of Army Rangers school tell about hallucinations on the 3rd day without sleep.
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Dave Grossman: But one of the key things to understand is that the link between sleep, deprivation, and suicide suicides around the planet have exploded. Mental illness around the planet has exploded. So right now it is physically impossible for you to take your life. The drive to self-preservation is too powerful.
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Dave Grossman: but alcohol will inhibit the drive to self-preservation. You get all these other problems, you add alcohol.
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Dave Grossman: and suddenly suicide becomes possible. But sleep deprivation works exactly the same way, and you only.
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Mark Entrekin: Wow!
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Dave Grossman: Brief window, and children are not habitually drunk, so teenage suicides have exploded. One study says, suicide is the number one killer of our teenagers, teenagers, 1011, 12 year old teenage girls. Suicide rate has tripled per capita
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Dave Grossman: in just the last decade. So around the planet, every demographic group, every nation on the planet. Suicides exploded except the Amish and the new factor is this global epidemic of sleep deprivation. So when you look at a world full of anger and hostility and irrational behavior. And you want to. What is the root cause? What is the new factor in the equation?
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Dave Grossman: The new factor is sleep deprivation. It's a huge factor in traffic deaths, it exploded worldwide. It's a huge factor in suicide. Sleep, deprivation creates chronic pain
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Dave Grossman: which is the key factor in the opiate epidemic. Fentanyl alone. Fentanyl's an opiate almost always illegally used. Fentanyl kills 40. Fentanyl kills 40 to 80,000 Americans every year. Most years. We lose.
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Mark Entrekin: People.
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Dave Grossman: One year we lose more people in one year to Fentany overdoses than the entire 20 years of the Vietnam war.
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Dave Grossman: Why, why opiates? But you know, and the prescription opiates on top of Fentanyl. It's killing many, many more people. Why are opiates a drug of choice? Because the sleep deprivation creates chronic pain, and when you're sleep deprived, the opiates hit you with just a triple whammy. So we've got this all. There's a huge link. And do I tell people, do your own look online, look online.
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Dave Grossman: sleep, deprivation, suicide, boom, sleep, deprivation, mental illness, boom, sleep, deprivation, traffic, deaths, boom, sleep, deprivation and chronic pain, boom, sleep, deprivation, Alzheimer's and dementia huge.
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Dave Grossman: So when you hear about suicide, you hear about Alzheimer's exploding, why don't they mention do your own search sleep deprivation. Alzheimer's do your own online search. Why don't they talk about it?
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Mark Entrekin: Wow!
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Dave Grossman: Turning off the TV, turning off the head of Netflix, said, their competitor, is sleep, Netflix said. Their corporate goal is to steal your sleep. They don't care that they're killing people. So I do a lot of school safety training. I train at East Texas School Safety Conference. I said. We're going to talk about keeping your school safe from homicides, but I bet you haven't had any homicides. I bet you've had some suicides, some traffic deaths, some drug overdoses. I bet you got a problem of mental illness. So what can we do about suicide? Sleep?
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Dave Grossman: You want to walk out that door and save a kid's life. Teach them 3 things. What can we do about traffic deaths and drug overdoses, what we do about suicides and mental ill sleep?
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Dave Grossman: You want to walk out that door and save a kid's life. Teach them 3 things the number of hours they need at that age. And as adults, we need 7 h of sleep you cannot get by in less than 7 h. Teach kids how much sleep they need. At that age. Number 2 sleep in the dark. One of the greatest life hacks you'll ever have is sleep with a sleep mask and number 3
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Dave Grossman: shut off caffeine shortly after lunch. The caffeine is making us have bad quality sleep. We're in the middle of an epidemic of mega doses of caffeine. Just teach your kids 3 things, number of hours in need sleep in the dark and cut off caffeine shortly after lunch. It also applies to us.
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Mark Entrekin: I am. Yes, so I love what you're talking about, and I want to touch on some of that just a little bit more. We have about 12 min left. But can we talk a little bit? I think, about some of the seeds that you're mentioning right now. But can we talk about media and the violent video games, the movies you mentioned Netflix, the TV. What's the truth about how this stuff affects us? What should parents? What can parents, teachers, and mentors be thinking about.
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Dave Grossman: Well, you don't.
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Dave Grossman: My book Assassination generation is really what I recommended so much, and in 2,005 the State of California overwhelmingly voted
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Dave Grossman: to regulate children's access to violent video games.
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Dave Grossman: Violent visual image, especially violent video games.
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Dave Grossman: has an a physiological effect on their body. They go into fight or flight mode.
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Dave Grossman: Butterfly hormones are flooding through their body, and they get catastrophic shutdown of left brain processing. When you're when you're fighting for your life.
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Dave Grossman: where your meal comes from tomorrow is not even on your radar screen. So when the fight or flight hormones are flooding through your brain, there's catastrophic shutdown of left brain processing. So when the kids are playing the video games, they're put into fight or flight mode, it's a physiological arousal. It's the goal of the game, and they become totally immersed in it.
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Dave Grossman: And and so the State of California, Hollywood said, we're good at this Silicon valley, said Roger, that Arnold Schwarzenegger signed the law 2,005. Based on this, this brain scan research, another good research.
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Dave Grossman: And the video game industry fought all the way to the Supreme.
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Mark Entrekin: Oh, sure!
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Dave Grossman: To sell any game to any kid at any age, and they conned 7 old men, 7 old men, and never played pong in their life. 7 Supreme Court justices
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Dave Grossman: overturned the law that the State of California overwhelming. Now nobody knows that California even passed the law. Nobody knows that the data was so powerful that Silicon Valley and Hollywood and Arnold Schwarzenegger and the State of California overwhelmingly said, we need to regulate these. Nobody knows that nobody knows
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Dave Grossman: that this industry fought all the way to Supreme Court. Nobody knows that they're intentionally stealing our sleep, and and you'll see all kinds of public service announcements on on suicide. But they'll never say you played this game for $48. Going to shut you down now.
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Mark Entrekin: The teaching, though sorry to interrupt you, but that teaching is the biggest point, because people don't realize it. We can't grasp something we don't understand right.
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Dave Grossman: But you know, when my second grade teacher told us cigarettes kill people.
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Dave Grossman: I went home and hid my dad's cigarettes, and if we teach a generation to get enough sleep.
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Dave Grossman: regardless of what the video game is telling us, and I tell my cops, if somebody showed up were drunk, you kick his ass and fire him
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Dave Grossman: if he shows up to work, or in the military. He shows up to morning formation, sleep deprived because he played games all night. He needs his ass kicked. There's nothing cute. There's nothing funny about showing up or drunk.
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Dave Grossman: There's nothing cute and nothing funny about trying to sleep deprived because you play games all night long, or you're on social media, or you watch movies all night. You got a sick baby at home, ma'am. We got you covered, and and I tell them a lot of y'all look at me like a deer in the headlight right now, I said, Dude, you're talking to me. It's okay. You never knew. But now, you know, you know, I'm right.
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Dave Grossman: He cannot show at work drunk, and he cannot show at work. Sleep deprived because he played games, or on social media or binge watching shows all night long. And once you hear that, you know it's right. And we began to create a cultural change, to get people better better equipped.
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Dave Grossman: to be able to do things wisely and well in our society. This, this, this, this handful of sand in the engine block of our society every single friction point.
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Dave Grossman: Okay, yeah.
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Dave Grossman: Our society is being hampered by this sleep deprivation that just eats away at the fiber of our civilization every different direction. And and it's hard to be calm. It's hard to be rational when you're sleep deprived, and you are literally mentally ill.
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Dave Grossman: After 24 to 36 h without sleep. You're psychotic. After 3 days without sleep and.
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Mark Entrekin: What you're saying is.
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Mark Entrekin: it makes so much sense, Dave. I appreciate. I'm sorry to interrupt you again, but what you're saying is solid information, but we don't know about it. And until people like you are able to come and tell us.
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Mark Entrekin: how can we help that? Get into our schools? Is it going into our schools now.
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Dave Grossman: But you know, next Monday I will be teaching the National School Resource Officers Association.
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Dave Grossman: I will have a 1,200 school resource officers. I've only got 2 h, and if I only had 30 min
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Dave Grossman: the whole sleep deprivation thing and and going home, and and you want to save a kid's life. You want to save a kid's life. Just teach them about sleep, hygiene and sleep management, and and under start understanding that link. And again, do your own research. I'm a West Point psychology professor. I lost a little brother to suicide. I studied suicide intensely, and it enrages me that I did not know
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Dave Grossman: about the link between sleep, deprivation, suicide until about 8 years ago. And I thought, I wonder if there's research on this. And I put in one search, sleep, deprivation, suicide, boom, study after study. Not only is sleep, deprivation a key factor in suicide. It's the most remediable factor we can't do anything about your finances or relationships right now. But we we can get you good.
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Mark Entrekin: Can help.
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Dave Grossman: Thinking now, and why don't we know this? Because that means turning off their product and like the tobacco industry, you know. My dad started smoking when he was 5 years old. He just plumped a nickel on the counter and started 5 years old. Well, he candy rods your teeth, or they didn't care. They were killing a 5 year old. They just wanted to sell their product.
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Mark Entrekin: That goes back to education, though, doesn't it? Back? Then back when my dad started, for example, they didn't know what they knew. He quit when he was somewhere in his sixties, but he didn't know back then.
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Mark Entrekin: Good morning.
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Mark Entrekin: Now we're learning in this education and knowledge.
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Mark Entrekin: and let me kind of focus on where I'm coming from unity.
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Mark Entrekin: especially in some of these modes in crisis, it's crucial. Tell me in your experience what helps teams or communities stay united when this pressure, like you talk about that pressures on.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah. The the critical factor is love. It comes back around what we're talking about
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Dave Grossman: to stay focused as we love our children as we love our God as we love our nation as we love our way of life. Love means the worse. You catch harder, we fight.
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Dave Grossman: and if we love our fellow man. If we love our children, if we love our way of life, then then we stay in the fight. We stay on the side of righteousness and goodness, and we try to call people towards love. And we try to save these lives. And and and you know people, there's only one thing in the universe that will that will allow people to lay their life down. And and that's love. But sometimes the greatest love is not to sacrifice your life, but to live a life of sacrifice. That's my line. It's going on my tombstone.
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Dave Grossman: And and that's what we're calling people this life of sacrifice. And and then, after we, the motivation is love. But the body's got to be ready, you know. I got a degree in psychology and counseling, but the 1st step in counseling is, Have you had a good meal?
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Dave Grossman: Have you had a good night.
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Mark Entrekin: I'm just.
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Dave Grossman: We cannot
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Dave Grossman: cure the mind until the body's ready. You know the Salvation Army. They always understood you had to have a good meal in your stomach, and a good safe place to sleep before you could even begin to think about spiritual matters. And and before you can do anything else, we've got to make sure that they've had a good night's sleep, and nothing else is going to be possible until that mind and body is healthy, and we're in the middle of this epidemic of sleep deprivation that eats at every other aspect of what we do.
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Mark Entrekin: Turn that TV off, turn those games off, turn over whatever it has to be. Absolutely, Dave, we've got about 4 more minutes.
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Mark Entrekin: I want to thank you again so much for being here. This just the doors that you have opened today is amazing. Tell me, and I'm I know I'm I went to high school, Lovington, New Mexico. You're gonna be in Roswell, New Mexico, I think in September. Tell us more. How can we get in touch with you
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Mark Entrekin: in closing. Tell me a little bit about. Tell the audience, how can they contact you, and what.
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Dave Grossman: Well, grossmanontruth.com. You know the truth on combat, the truth on spiritual combat, grossman on truth.com. But we're we've got, and these are these are bulletproof house of worship, security, safety training. But we're really putting an umbrella of spiritual warfare over it all.
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Dave Grossman: So in Roswell, New Mexico in September 18, th through 20th we have our bulletproof house of worship, and but we're really rewiring this not just house of worship. Safety. But we're spiritual warfare. So not just your your church safety team, but everybody, your prayer ministry, your pastor, your your youth ministry. There's a place for all of them to come in
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Dave Grossman: and and to be guided down this path of spiritual warfare. And of course you know where the most powerful tool you know. Ephesians. Chapter 6. The full armor of God ends with the radio prayers, pray ceaselessly in the Spirit, you know, with the helmet of salvation. Boom the sword of the Spirit, and then pray ceaselessly in in the spirit. And and the prayer is the radio, and it's our most powerful weapon of all is to
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Dave Grossman: for a higher authority. And what do we pray for? We pray for more faith, and we pray for more love. Those are 2 things we should be praying for always. And what's our mission on this earth to love, to love God and to love people? A new commandment? I give you the love of this is, I have loved you.
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Dave Grossman: So in, come to our website, check out the books with all my heart assassination generation on combat, on spiritual combat. We got a place on the website to personalize books. Give them away as gifts. We'll sign them and personalize them. Just make a request to us. And every morning I get to sign a bunch of books and personalized books one of the high point of every day
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Dave Grossman: and and check out the website. We're going to be doing 4 a year, once every quarter, and we'll every time zone in America. Once a year we'll have one of our bulletproof spiritual warfare conferences, but I.
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Mark Entrekin: Excellent.
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Dave Grossman: A lot of other good work. Bring me out to do school safety for your whole school district. I do a lot of that, and it's been terribly well received. Put me.
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Mark Entrekin: I can imagine that's so well needed.
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Dave Grossman: Now, it's a two-way street, though, Mark iron sharpens iron. And I'm so glad to be on your website, on your on your podcast. And I thank you for your endeavors and episode number 42. You know the you know, the you know, the life, the universe. What's the meaning of the life, the universe, and everything. 42. Right. The hitchhiker's Guide to the galaxy said, 42, you know. They asked this great epic question to this great machine. And it's been years. What's the answer to life, universe and everything? 42. Right? So here we are at episode 42.
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Mark Entrekin: Where we are.
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Dave Grossman: Thank God, and I'm so proud to be on board. I praise God for the opportunity.
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Mark Entrekin: Day.
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Dave Grossman: And I pray that God will bless your endeavors. Brother.
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Mark Entrekin: Oh, thank you so much, and the same and blessing for you. Your message focus on that rigorous preparation that resilience and empowering individuals to perform under extreme pressure, and that aligns directly with the achieving unity, success, formula.
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Mark Entrekin: by emphasizing the importance of encouragement.
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Mark Entrekin: inspiration, and inclusion to build strong resilient teams
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Mark Entrekin: and communities capable of overcoming adversity. Your approaches stress the need for mental and emotional readiness that's support
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Mark Entrekin: that collaborative unity to achieve success
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Mark Entrekin: and thrive in those challenging environments. It's just been so awesome having you here today interview
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Mark Entrekin: you. If you felt a spark of any kind
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Mark Entrekin: what Davis talked about today, please go out to his website. Look him up on the Internet. He's easy to find. He's out there everywhere. Please check him out. Go to his website. He has a donation page for his book. Please go out there, give a little
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Mark Entrekin: share, a little reach out to all of us. We can stay focused on turning the chaos into connection, as we are achieving unity by harnessing that power of encouraging, inspiring, and including others, in building better businesses.
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Mark Entrekin: better lives, and a better world. Life is truly what we make it. So let's make it together. Let's make it awesome together in unity.
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Mark Entrekin: Dave. Thank you again. I am so honored everyone. This will be out on Youtube approximately on Tuesday. I'll send out a note to everybody, and it'd be on the Internet. Please go to look at it.
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Mark Entrekin: Watch it, watch it again. Thanks again to Dave. Appreciate him, his donation page, his books. Buy them, I will.
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Mark Entrekin: Let's do it together.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you all.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you, Lieutenant Colonel Dave Grossman, this has been so awesome.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you for your service, your time, and your commitment.
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Mark Entrekin: You're so appreciated.
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Dave Grossman: Bless you! God bless America!
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you. God bless America! Hope to see you all again next week. Everyone till then cheers.
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Dave Grossman: Thanks so much, Mark, you know, if it works in combat, it works to make you a better parent and make you a better father. You know.
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Mark Entrekin: And that's why I wanted to mention that earlier, because the things that you're saying, and again, I don't have the opportunity.
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Mark Entrekin: and sometimes the honor to even talk with more of my service members, and to see more when I see them at the coffee shop, or I see them in a grocery store. I always tell them thank you for your service.
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Mark Entrekin: But what you mentioned today helps me understand better that
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Mark Entrekin: the things that we encounter every day
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Mark Entrekin: will work for us just like it works for them.
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Mark Entrekin: works for all of us in unity. Right.
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Dave Grossman: And you know who else needs to hear. That is our cops. Just tell them thank you for what you do for us.
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Mark Entrekin: Exactly.
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Dave Grossman: They don't hear that enough. Yeah.
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Mark Entrekin: And it's 1 of the things people, and I'd love to have a little bit of your feedback here, because one thing that I think about
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Mark Entrekin: is, who does a cop deal with every day? Believe it or not. It's not grandma not turning her blinker on Sunday morning. That's not who they are up with against every day. So they see a lot of the people that don't flip them the finger they do things.
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Dave Grossman: That's another thing. We didn't get a chance to cover today, mark, it's an existential question. I call it kind of my spiritual ambush. Everybody asks, how could a loving God allow these terrible things to happen? And the answer is really important.
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Dave Grossman: and the answer is, He loves us enough to let us make our own decisions.
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Dave Grossman: you know, if you love something, let it go. If it comes back. It's true to yours. That's how much God loves. He loves us enough to let's make our own decisions. And that means a lot of people make really bad decisions. A lot of bad things happen, he said, God, why don't you do something? He said. I did. I sent you.
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Mark Entrekin: Well, exactly, and he is doing something. It's not again. I'm with you 100%. It's not what he did yesterday, and he's he's. Let us go now. He let them go then, too, because he's letting us make our own decisions. But we have to make better decisions right.
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Dave Grossman: And we gotta help guide people to making those better decisions.
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Mark Entrekin: I love what you talked about sleep. It was something I had not put that together. And again we'll send this out. I'll put a note out on it. People need to hear that Dave.
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Dave Grossman: It's eating at the fiber of our civilization. A friend of mine. I'll get you in touch with her. She's got a book coming out in the fall, and she's the FBI sleep, Doc.
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Dave Grossman: and she'd go to.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah, I sleep. Doug.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah. I wrote the forward to it. It's about the sleep advantage. I wrote the forward to it so much. What I just told you is in in my forward to that book. It called the Sleep Advantage, and FBI. She is the FBI's psychologist in charge of their sleep and many, many other things. But this is her area. And and she's got a great book coming out in the fall. And if you'd like, you'd love to have her on the podcast. She's an.
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Mark Entrekin: I would love to again. I'm having troubles next week if I have somebody, if somebody. What I'd like to, Dave, if you don't mind listening to me for just a second for next week. What I want to find is someone
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Mark Entrekin: I don't have the name of the person I'm working right now, but I don't think she's gonna be able to make it. But I would like to see people.
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Mark Entrekin: One of the items that is personal to me is our, and it comes to our legislature because our legislature writes the laws first.st Yes, and here comes the Bar Association, or whoever that writes them. And legalese, what I call legal teas.
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Mark Entrekin: but we have got to be able to understand our constitution. It is not a bad thing people keep going. These are my rights. Well, those are your rights. You also have responsibilities. And let's stick those responsibilities with what you're doing. But what I want for next week is to find somebody
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Mark Entrekin: they can help us talk about for the next 51 weeks. So the next July 4th
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Mark Entrekin: can help us understand our constitution better.
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Mark Entrekin: and how we can use it better. Most people don't understand. They know the Constitution, and they know that they have a right to carry a gun.
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Mark Entrekin: They have a right to free speech.
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Mark Entrekin: But there's a lot more to that, and the Bill of rights is is not even thought about.
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Mark Entrekin: I. If I had someone I'm still looking. But
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Dave Grossman: May I take a moment right now, Christopher and Sean? I'm so glad you all are on board.
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Mark Entrekin: Always good, yes.
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Dave Grossman: We've had. We've had just kind of like a in studio audience here, and
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Dave Grossman: grateful for you, and I thank you for your your for you as fellow sheepdogs out there. You know, Christopher, I write in this book about Christopher Amaroso on 9 11, and I think it will rock your world. If you were interested. I commend the book to your attention. Whenever I find a Christopher, a lot of people.
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Christopher Dougherty: Sir. I'll get it, Colonel. I want to put it. I have your name on my list, so I'm gonna get it.
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Dave Grossman: It'll it'll it'll bless you! It will really bless you. And and and I and you and and Shawn, I'm just so glad you guys were able to stay with us. We had a few others that were a little in studio audience. It was really cool, and your presence folks.
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Mark Entrekin: Yes, it is. I'm so glad both of Sean and Christopher. Him and I emailed earlier, and just so glad both of you. Here.
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Christopher Dougherty: Thanks, Mark. Appreciate it, sir. I appreciate the I'll be coming in every week now. It was good material, good, all very good. Audience or guest speaker today with Colonel.
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Dave Grossman: I bless you, and blessed 4th of July to everybody for.
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Mark Entrekin: So 4th of July to everyone.
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Dave Grossman: Yeah.
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Mark Entrekin: I don't know if I should. If it's right for me to salute, as I'm not an office person.
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Dave Grossman: Don't do any harm at all.
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Mark Entrekin: Well, what I do. Yeah.
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Dave Grossman: Boom.
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Mark Entrekin: Yeah, I.
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Dave Grossman: Alright! God bless you, guys!
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Dave Grossman: Thanks and thanks.
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Dave Grossman: Stay in the fight, Mark. We need you more than ever. Iron Shark.
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Christopher Dougherty: Dave, Colonel Dave, hey? I'm gonna reach out to you on Linkedin hopefully. We can connect.
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Dave Grossman: Don't put me, I'd be honored to, but I try to respond to every everything on Linkedin. It's got a lot of balls in the every user managed to say a big who are back at you. But.
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Christopher Dougherty: I'd like to introduce my organization to you and see how we can get together and collaborate.
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Dave Grossman: What's that, archangel I heard you talking to Mark about Archangel? Is that right?
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Christopher Dougherty: No, I'm with the organization that I founded in 2020, sir, after I'm medically retired from the sheriff's office after 15 years of service and it's called combat connect.
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Dave Grossman: Hurrah! That's a worthy.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you.
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Christopher Dougherty: Those are, and mark.
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Mark Entrekin: Thank you.
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Christopher Dougherty: You probably get a speaker for you if you if you need help. I've got a doctor on my team, Dr. Mark Michaels.
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Christopher Dougherty: He might be available. So let me know.
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Mark Entrekin: I've got one spot open. There are 2 people asking for it right now. I'm full through November at this current time.
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Dave Grossman: If I had.
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Mark Entrekin: So now we love some people in December.
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Dave Grossman: I'm sorry, Dave.
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Dave Grossman: I just wish I had somebody give you for tomorrow, and I'm drawing a great.
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Mark Entrekin: Oh, next week. Yeah, that's I've got a couple more people I'm talking to next week from today.
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Dave Grossman: Yep, alright.
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Mark Entrekin: Everybody again. Thank you! God bless you! God bless America!
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Dave Grossman: 4th of July. Bye-bye.
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Mark Entrekin: You, too. Thank you. Bye-bye.